Whatever it takes
PUBLISHED: JANUARY 09, 2014
For those of you who aren't familiar with the "whatever it takes" style of parenting, it's basically doing whatever it takes to keep everyone alive, well and happy. It's when you swore you would never give your child candy yet you're stashing suckers in your purse. I have (on more than one occasion) actually had to place a banana peel on the grocery store conveyer belt. Yep, I just paid for a banana peel, but it kept my child from screaming in the produce aisle...whatever it takes, right?
A friend with muscular dystrophy told me she often feels judged at her daughter's preschool when making her toddler walk inside the building, instead of carrying her like the other moms. When you have health issues – be it MD, cancer or something else – you have physical limitations other people don't understand. So what if you make your child walk into the school herself or teach your toddler how to climb into his own car seat.
Do whatever it takes to keep going.
And that includes ignoring guilt about not being the perfect parent and nasty looks from people who think such a creature exists. As a wife and mom living with cancer, I have started applying the whatever it takes theory to other areas of my life as well. While a "normal person" might say he/she has a lot on their plate, some of us have plates the size of a turkey platter. My day to day can be pretty heavy, so I give myself a pass on the little things like laundry to fold or dishes to wash.
I went in for my last PET of the year, and while overall I am still doing well, my cancer is starting to resist my current medication. Which means a new drug (but not back in the chemo chair yet!) and surgery. Instead of thinking about the big picture of what this means or the number of medications I haven't crossed off the list yet, I keep my sanity by taking the tactical approach. After all, I am a list maker.
1. New drugs? Researching new side effects.
2. Surgery? Scheduled as soon as possible.
3. Two week without driving? Time for a long visit from Mom.
4. Six weeks without lifting my 2-year old? Teaching Henry how to climb in and out of the car seat
Let's do this thing. I'll do whatever it takes to keep everyone alive, well and happy...including me.