BY KATHY LATOUR | DECEMBER 20, 2011
Suzanne Lindley was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer 13 years ago at age 31. Since then she has become an ardent advocate for others living with cancer. She also writes about her life for CURE on occasion. This is one of those occasions.
I wake up with cancer. I go to bed with cancer. It has been a daily happening for so many years, I no longer let it be the first, nor the last, thought of every day. It has robbed too much from too many that I know and love. Yet, there are friends that I have met because of it; heroes who have forever touched my life as cancer has shaped our days and changed our directions. The past few weeks have been interwoven with the tapestry of these friendships and the special people and circumstances that brought us together.
I was at a LiveSTRONG Summit when I had the privilege of seeing Jonny Imerman for the first time. I soon became an Imerman Angel and found my angel, Kevin, and his wife Jen. Kevin is also living with stage IV colon cancer. His nickname is "Boa," shortened from Rocky Balboa and perfectly fitting! He has a strong will, a big heart, and embodies the meaning of LiveSTRONG!.
We have been fortunate to meet in person several times....for the first time two years ago after a Dallas Cowboy gadme and most recently just months ago when he spent a few days with our family. In between, we have marched the Halls of Congress, written hope in Dallas, DC, Washington, and on top of Ol' Baldy, seen the beautiful falls in Spokane, and even climbed a small mountain!
During the past two weeks, Kevin's struggle has been difficult. He and his family have weighed heavily on my mind. Kev has been in the hospital and at one point was not expected to survive. Jen hasn't left his side. A few days after this dire prediction I was happily reminded that there is no crystal ball as his voice greeted me on the phone. He assured me that he was a long way from giving up and that he would be spending Christmas with Jen and his girls. As he continues to recover, I marvel at his willpower. With Christmas just days away, I am now hopeful that he will not only be enjoying family - but celebrating in the comfort of his own home!
Other angels have graced my life this week, too. A few months ago I was dreaming that YES! would be able to procure a public service announcement and in my search for support, Eric answered one of my phone calls. His benevolence and dedication actually made our PSA possible and it has already changed lives! Thank you, Eric and CBS!!!
During our first conversation I learned Eric's dad is living with cancer. We shared both the obstacles and celebrations that cancer has put in our path. The pride and admiration he has for his parents was evident, and with every word I was inspired. Terry and I soon began talking on the phone, too.
On Wednesday, I had the chance to hug Eric's neck and thank him personally for making a dream come true. We talked about hopes, plans, and his dad. On Friday, I got to meet Terry, who since that first conversation a few months ago has survived two brain surgeries, an abscess, a stroke, and a cardiac arrest. His determination is enough to encourage anyone! I am amazed by his each and every milestone. I gave him a picture of hope when we met and as I left, he said, "Hope....that is what we all have, isn't it? That and each other."
His words have followed me the past few days, reminding me of how we help each other through the struggles, challenges, and fears. It is our patches of courage, tenacity, and strength that weave our lives together. As each day begins and ends, I am thankful for the blanket of hope....and friendship.
Love, Suzanne
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COMMENTS
Thanks to Suzanne for sharing her insights and hope to others.
To Kevin & Terry your fight is inspirational !
Hold Fast & Shine Brightly
- Posted by Brian 12/20/11 10:13 PM
Suzanne,
I love the saying together "we can all make a difference". You have been such an inspiration on so many levels in my life. You do so much tohelp so many! You are AMAZING!!!! I hope people continue to touch someone's life , to make a difference . . .as you wrote a blanket of hope .. .friendship. May your journey be filled with much love and friendship always! Hope to all who are through their own struggles . . . wishing they all have HOPE. I WISH Kevin and Terry GOOD LUCK going forward and pray that they always have hope with them. wish that they know they are not alone. We are here them. thank you Suzanne for touching many lives. love you so much. ELlen & Family
- Posted by Ellen Lavoun 12/20/11 10:48 PM
Good luck Kevin and Terry!! pulling and praying for you.
- Posted by Ellen LaVoun 12/20/11 11:17 PM
Thank you for wrapping us in that blanket of hope, Suzie-Q! We were so thankful to meet Jonny Imerman and to know about Livestrong. Mark still wears their awareness bands, and your bee band, every day to the point that they are almost worn out.
Our thoughts and prayers are with Kevin and Terry and both of their families. We "HOPE" they have the best holiday season ever.
Blessings,
Mark and Rach
- Posted by Rachel Spague 12/21/11 12:03 PM
Kevin and Terry- always remember that where there is life, there is always 'Hope"! Never give it up. We're all in your corner. Here's to life!
Jim Sachs (aka Jim/jackie)
- Posted by Jim Sachs 12/21/11 12:31 PM
Suzanne, you are amazing and inspiring! Thank you!!
- Posted by Patty in Ohio 12/21/11 2:43 PM
Terry's words resound the simple truth Suzanne has known, lived and shared all these years - Hope, that's what we all have. That and each other.
Kevin and Terry, may you each find every day brings new hope.
Suzanne, you continue to amaze. Love and light.
Mellenee Finger
- Posted by Mellenee Finger 12/21/11 2:49 PM
Suzanne....I miss you incredibly and you are one of the most amazing
People I have ever met. The strength and
Determination that you have has touched so many
And I am lucky enough to be able to call you
A true friend. I wish everyone a peaceful marry
Christmas and may there be a lot of hope and joy
In everyones heart. I hope we get to see each other again soon. Maybe even when my hubby gets back from
Afghanistan. Sending everyone my best from
Germany.
Love ya
Dani
- Posted by Daniela Clevenger 12/21/11 2:58 PM
Kevin and Jen, Terry
I am sending my love and support to you and your family today. This life is but a balance for us all as we must shift between the moments it offers us with each and every breath.... as we walk in balance ... it's balance will follow us at every turn. I know these days are dificult and that you are going through so much. But in my heart I know you are strong and that you will not give up the fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday. roger slagle, "filmmaker"
(also posted to the CURE message boards)
- Posted by Roger Slagle 12/21/11 3:03 PM
Kevin and Jen, Terry
I am sending my love and support to you and your family today. This life is but a balance for us all as we must shift between the moments it offers us with each and every breath.... as we walk in balance ... it's balance will follow us at every turn. I know these days are dificult and that you are going through so much. But in my heart I know you are strong and that you will not give up the fight. My thoughts and prayers are with you today and everyday. roger slagle, "filmmaker"
(also posted to the CURE message boards)
- Posted by Roger Slagle 12/21/11 3:04 PM
Suzanne, your way with words always amazes me. As I read I can always feel the strength, hope, faith, appreciation and belief that you have. Cancer is an awful disease that robs so many of so much. You are such an inspiration and a reminder that ONE can make such a difference. May you never give up your fight or your quest to educate and help others keep HOPE alive. May God bless us all and especially those whose lives are touched by cancer. From Canton, Texas I wish you all a very merry Christmas. Jada
- Posted by Jada Smallwood 12/21/11 3:21 PM
About a decade ago I was on a challenge coarse, paralyzed by my fear of heights, and the coordinator said, "take the next step and see what opportunities open up." Around the same time I 'met' Suzanne when I was writing a story for More magazine about living with cancer. At the time she and her husband feared she wouldn't make it. Then she took the next step, and the next, and her life has continued to blossom. I hope you, Kevin and Terry, take those next steps, hard as they are, and that opportunities and joys open up. Sending you my thoughts from Virginia, Janine
- Posted by Janine Latus 12/21/11 3:32 PM
I would like to echo Jim and add a thought of my own, if I may.
I believe that where there is LOVE, there is hope.
And clearly, to everyone mentioned in Suzanne's post -- CLEARLY -- there is love in your life.
Surely, if Suzanne Lindley is your friend - there is love in your life. :-) And beyond that, there is love all around you.
Focus on that love at every turn. See the love surrounding you, feel it enveloping you, and know that love is healing -- in so many ways.
I am sending you some now, from Maine!
Following is an excerpt from a song I wrote about hope:
Hope is the part of the sun that remains when the clouds roll in, and though it seems that the light has left the world...
Hope remembers to believe and have faith...the light will return, when the morning comes.
And hope is the piece of your heart that remains strong when the trials roll in, and though it seems that the mighty winds have tossed you...
...Hope remembers to believe and have faith...in love...
Love makes us hopeful...love is that thing.
- Posted by Julia Vigue 12/21/11 3:37 PM
6 years ago this week i was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma that had spread to my liver. Today i am cancer free and have been for 2 years. I met Suzanne after i had sir spheres and RFa . i never thought i would still be here 6 years later and doing so well .Never give up hope , Somethimg new that can help you may be just around the corner. If something doesn'y work , hope that the next one will. That is what i did. I'm living proof of never giving up hope.
thank you Suzanne for your story . good luck Kevin and Terry . where there is hope there is life, Happy holidays to everyone
melissa
- Posted by melissa hadley charlotte NC 12/21/11 3:50 PM
Kevin, Jen, Eric, Terry - may the spirit of the season fill each of you with comfort and joy. Good wishes to all from New Hampshire's seacoast!
- Posted by Scott Joy 12/21/11 3:51 PM
I wish there was another word besides "thanks" that I could use with Suzanne. Because I feel like I am always saying that to her and it never feels like enough.
Suzanne came in to my life and showed me how to move forward gracefully while living with cancer. And of course re-affirmed the power of hope which I now believe is the most powerful thing in the universe.
This blog post only re-affirms those thoughts and what an incredible angel, mentor and friend Suzanne is to everyone that meets her.
And agin I'm left with a word that never seems like enough.
Thanks, Suzanne.
Happy holidays filled with Hope.
Love, Steve
- Posted by Steve Mazan 12/21/11 4:00 PM
So typical of Suzanne, sharing HOPE and her concern for others. Hang in there Kev, and enjoy Christmas with "your girls".
from Meegan
"Downunder in Oz"
- Posted by Meegan Hodges 12/21/11 4:45 PM
Suzanne,
Your words often follow me. Without you, Nell and I would have never known about SIR-Spheres and the possiblity they provided. This will be our third Christmas together beyond what was destined to be our last Holiday spent together.
There have been struggles this year and many fragile moments but because of hope, and friendship, we have stepped past them. Our friends at YES! have been guiding lights. We will be surrounded by our kids, grands, and greats in a few days because of you and the blanket of Hope that you share with so many. It's a tender feeling this season and the gentle blessing of time is the greatest gift we have been given.
We hope that same blanket covers Kev and Jen as well as Terry and his family. If they are special friends in your life, they are also special in ours. Our prayers and good thoughts will surround them this Holiday.
Tom
- Posted by Tom and Nell Mast 12/21/11 4:52 PM
Boa! Start feeling better soon for our mountain hike in July. It will be here before you know it. Terry, we haven't met but we have heard a lot about you. We are sending you strength and prayers.
Joey and Katie
- Posted by Joey Peace 12/21/11 5:10 PM
This story is but one of Suzanne Lindley's gifts to persons and families that have to deal with colon cancer. It helps to explain why Suzanne has hundreds of friends she has never met in person (I consider myself one of them). I suspect that she did not need to be diagnosed with cancer to be such a strong advocate for others, such a caring person or someone who is so appreciative of the simple joys of family life; that it has always been part of who she is. Thank you, Suzane for sharing yourself with us. Best for the holidays,
Eric Kingson
Manlius, New York
- Posted by Eric Kingson 12/21/11 5:36 PM
Kevin, Jen, Eric, Terry, & of course, Susanne,I am reminded of the true humanity and love that surrounds those touched by all of you. Every day I am greeted by my "Hope" sign given to us by the Swift family in Iowa durning a "YES" conference in Dallas. Never give up. Every day we are surrounded by miracles that happen during cancer that are never experienced by others. We appreciate more, love harder, give of ourselves more, and accept with grace things others can't understand. May you all receive the Holidays filled with love.
Sandy Fioretti
Grand Prairie, TX
- Posted by Sandy Fioretti 12/21/11 6:10 PM
A blanket of friendship and hope is truly a beautiful image! Thanks, Suzanne, for the friendship you have shared with me through the years. I wouldn't be here without you or your support or my little magic beads.
I've heard about Kevin a lot and know what a wonderful gift Jonny Immerman gave in connecting the two of you. Reading about Terry was also inspirational. I wish you and your families the best this holiday. I hope you feel us all "wrapping you in a blanket."
- Posted by Tina Schaeffer 12/21/11 6:28 PM
Dear Kevin & Jen: A friend of Suzanne's is automatically a friend of mine! Suzanne is a super person and anyone she is around must be super too! I know you are facing many challenges, but I want you to know that this Ohio guy is thinking of you. My wife, Beth, and our 16 Pugs are sending good wishes your way. (Yes, you read that right -- we have 16 Pugs! We show & breed the little cuties!) Happy holidays! Eddie
- Posted by Eddie Leigh 12/21/11 7:12 PM
Merry Christmas, Suzanne! I'm so pleased that CURE is allowing you to share messages like this as it has the ability to inspire many.
Terry, your words are profound! Hope and each other. I will share the sentiment and your miraculous story. May you continue to recover and enjoy the holidays with your family. Kev and Jen, keep up the fight. You and your families are surrounded with friendship and hope.
Vince
- Posted by Vince in Chicago 12/21/11 8:08 PM
It's amazing what love can do! Miracles are the fruits of love. Thank you Suzanne for being such a loving gardener. Your garden is full of memorable stories, beautiful human beings, life changing experiences...Thank you for getting us in touch with Kevin, Terry, Eric and so many brothers and sisters from around the world. Their lives, as well as yours, fill our hearts and minds with inspiration, strength, light, love and hope. So much hope!!!! For them, for you...for all of you out there flying high above whatever is happening down here in loving Mother Earth...all my love. May the Angel of Peace be with all of you at all times. Paz y bien.
Marilyn
(from Puerto Rico)
- Posted by marilyn vicens 12/21/11 8:26 PM
Sending hugs and prayers from Texas to Kevin and Terry! Kevin...a/k/a Boa...you just keep on fighting and inspiring others. And Terry, I am amazed at YOUR fight! Just know that there are LOTS of us out here who have been where you are...and we are in your corner. Any friend of Suzanne Lindley's is a friend of about a zillion other people...and we are wishing you all the best (...and Suzanne too!!).
- Posted by Kathy Baker 12/21/11 8:59 PM
Eric, Thank you for sharing your dad with us and for making the YES spot available on the CBS. It means a great deal to many of us. It sounds like you inherited a kind heart from your dad. I sure hope that he continues to get better and that your Christmas together is wonderful!
Kev and Jen, you continue to inspire. Keep the fighting spirit, Boa!!
I look forward to all of Suzanne's updates! Kudos to Kathy for the added audience! Happy and Hope filled Holidays to all!
- Posted by AnnMarie Hale 12/21/11 11:35 PM
Suzanne spreads her blanket of hope around the world. She is amazing. Best wishes to Keven and Jen. Hope is all around you along with love and prayers.
I'm waiting for Suzanne's book. I HOPE someone is keeping all her letters to put together and publish someday. They mean so much to so many. She is a gift.
Merry Christmas!
- Posted by Susan McDonald 12/22/11 8:40 AM
I do not know you, but I do know Suzanne and she tells me you could use an expression of love and good will during this holiday season. The good news is that you are loved by more than just those of us who are sending you comments. You are loved by God and I pray that a strong sense of His living presence in your life provides you with hope for this season and the ones to come.
- Posted by Tom Payne 12/22/11 11:09 AM
Boa and Terry! Hang in there. Wishing you and your families a Merry Christmas!
- Posted by Caleb Sittard 12/22/11 11:20 AM
I too hope Suzanne puts a book together, there are so many of us that have been deeply touched by her kind words & ability to see the positive. Suzanne was instrumental in helping my family as my daughter battled colon cancer for 5 years before she went home to Jesus. A young mom 1t 37 left us, and while it is a heart ache like no other, Suzanne helped us in oh so many ways. I will personally never forget the many blessings God gave us through Suzanne.
To all of you that are living with cancer-don't ever give up. Miracles do happen, Suzanne is LIVING PROOF.
Merry Christmas to all of you, and as a world we can pray together for a CURE!
Sheila Harris
Southern California
- Posted by Sheila Harris 12/22/11 11:41 AM
Kathy and CURE, Thank you for posting Suzanne's blog. Suzanne, Write the book!
Eric, The CBS public service announcement is such a wonderful testament to the station and to you personally. Cancer touches everyone and is scary no matter what but when you are told that there is no hope it is like the whole world caves in on you. I have been so scared and alone. YES and Suzanne changed that! You are helping people to say YES to hope! I pray that your father continues making steps of improvement and that your days together are filled with happiness and hope. He is an inspiration! His words are so true. Please thank him for sharing them.
Boa and Jen, May your continued fight with this disease get you home for this holiday and many more. Just keep holding on until there is a cure. I am praying for you.
Merry Christmas!!
Ann
- Posted by Ann Hutcherson 12/22/11 11:50 AM
Wishing Terry, Kevin, and their families the best for the holidays.
My husband, Howard, is doing great! He couldn't be better and we contribute that to all our great friends, the people we have met along the way, and mostly to God!!
Merry Christmas!
Margaret and Howard in Tennessee
- Posted by Margaret Rogers 12/22/11 11:56 AM
Almost three years ago I was given just two hours to live! That was just 17 days after I received a stage 4 cancer of unknown primary diagnoses. My family and I are strong believers in God, the power of prayer and the absolute will to survive. We defiantly refused to accept that it was the end for me despite all the odds stacking up against my recovery every minute. I had a blood clot in right lung, my heart rate got up to 180 beats per minute, I had water around my heart, my lungs had to be drained several times a day, I had a fever doctors could not break and yes, on top of that I had cancer in my lung and liver. Still, I had HOPE, I believed that something would come through, that God would get me through it all and when it seemed like it was going to be the end for me, a miracle happened. My mother sat at my bedside and wrestled with God on my behalf and then fell asleep only to be awakened by beeping machines. When the medical staff rushed in prepared to put me on life support, instead they found that I had stabilized. I sat up and asked for food. Three days later I was sent home to start chemo. A few months after that I was given a clean bill of health. I have had a couple of recurrences but recovered each time. I do not know what tomorrow holds for me or for anyone else for that matter but I can confidently say that I know for sure that there is always HOPE no matter what things look like. Suzanne has inspired me to live life to its fullest. I called YES and spoke to her a few months ago, she has been a wonderful friend. She reminds me that I have today and should make the best of it. Cancer does not have me!
Ruth from Illinois
- Posted by Ruth 12/23/11 10:27 AM
Thank you, Suzanne, for reminding us that whilst life is always fragile, it is also resilient! My dear brother died at the age of 17 from testicular cancer, more than 20 years ago. I miss him to this day. But what I treasure more than anything, is being able to advance the medical arena for cancer and translate those learnings to those for which is can make a difference. I chose to make the science and learning of how to diagnose, improve lives and hopefully cure cancer my lifelong ambition. I'm very lucky that I can contribute. But it is special people like Suzanne who teach us how to gracefully, and yet defiantly, help others to see the positive side of living life to the full and always giving HOPE. How priveledged I am to have met a beautiful person in Suzanne and those she has has connected me with.... Audrey based in San Francisco, USA
- Posted by Audrey Long 12/26/11 4:15 AM
Suzanne, thank you for sharing those beautiful words. When I contacted you last spring, I was waiting to hear from the tumor board what treatment would be next for me. From the moment, I first spoke to you, I knew in my spirit that the Y90 treatment was what I had been "hoping" for. Following the journey of the Theraspheres treatment, all tumors in my liver are completely dead. All tumors completely dead. I had been told years before that was not even a possibility. But with my Savior and Healer Jesus Christ, all things are possible. Hope is the rope that God lets down from heaven for us to hold onto. Thank you Suzanne for being an instrument of hope to so many. During this wonderful Christmas Season, I have reflected how blessed I am to be here for all the small moments that before cancer I may have viewed as holiday to do's! I am looking forward to the hope that lies before us in 2012!
- Posted by Lisa from Tampa 12/26/11 2:09 PM
I might be beating a dead horse, but thank you for ptsoing this!
- Posted by Jennah 12/27/11 6:15 AM
Kevin & Jenn, AND Terry, through thick and thin, saddness and Happiness, Our GOd is always in control. I believe there is a reason we all go through diffcult times, and it is in all how we take on our challenges that come to us, It is really a time to strengthen our Faith. SO I say to you, Lean on Him, He has a Strong Shoulder! He will be most happy to carry you all when need be! I think GOD has a special plan for you and your family in 2012.
May GOD continue to Bless you and your family! Amen
Claudia
- Posted by Claudia 12/28/11 9:13 AM
Suzanne you are bigger than life itself. You inspire HOPE when others are faced with such uncertainty. You advocate for those who are just starting out on their journey with cancer by providing resources and tools to become their own advocate. You never leave their side and they never have to make the journey alone. I thank God that he blessed us with our own personal "Angel" - which you are in all of our lives. Keep fighting, keep HOPE alive and many thanks for our own "HOPE" in the sand on Mission Bay, San Diego.
Love and blessings, Linda
- Posted by Linda Heup 1/8/12 4:38 PM