After a really rough week of not knowing which end was up, we found out that we would start tests on Monday. A real date in the time continuum. The vagueness of all of this is crippling. What am I going to be doing when? No one seems to be in a hurry but the patients. But, in fact, the surgeons are really in a hurry too. So, the weekend began knowing we would be clueless re: tests and treatment until at least Monday. A feeling of surrender - and serenity. Friday early a.m. went out to my summer house with my husband. Wished we could stay and stay and stay. Of course, that was far out of the question. We had to deal with the house and the boatyard and I hope to have one more day alone out there. I have to say goodbye to the house. That's a personal tradition. Steve seemed to be a little lighter of spirit on Friday during the day. Every now and then he'd pout, but not that often. It's strange to see a 68 year old man pouting like a 4 year old. Whatever. So we got back to the city around 5. Rested the rest of the evening. I knitted and watched tv and Steve watched baseball. Steve's mom sat at the computer and played her video games. Saturday was a day I was looking forward to. Relatives coming to visit and have brunch and chat. Good five hours. Really enjoyed it. Of course there was the pout every now and then. Steve's mom comes with us just about everywhere, unless there's someone with her at home. So, last night, we asked her companion to be with her from 6 pm to 1 am. We went to see a comedian we are fond of and know and then went out with the "entourage" for a snack. Very nice day. Very good day. Today, after I awoke with a migraine, we had plans for a jazz brunch with a friend of Steve's at the piano. That was good. Beautiful day. Good to be outside and walking. Decided to visit Steve's friend whose garden group in alphabet city was having a Harvest Festival. It was wonderful. A trip back to hippiedom and care-freedom. A good, good place to be and a good time. Then, I went for a manicure - need to look after myself - after all. So, I guess I could have listed the things we did and not told you so much about them, but it is important to cherish the good days. The good moments. Enjoy the sun. The breeze. Appreciate cab drivers who are off duty but agree to take you where you're going anyway. Look for all the little favors people do for you during the day. The little nice things that make the pain in life a little more bearable. I was sad to have to leave my summer house. I was glad to have been there, for even a few hours. I am grateful for all the proactivity in this house right now. I want us to keep doing and not waste what may be valuable time - not that all time isn't valuable. Again...look for the good things, big or small and cherish them. They'll help get you through tougher times.