i have had metastatic Her2 positive breast cancer for 3 years; with 2 prior diagnosis in 2006 and 2010. Every 3 weeks I receive an infusion of Herceptin (trastuzumab).
I know that statistically many Her2+ mets patients have received Herceptin continuously for more than 3 years. Information on Immune system fallout or side effects is hard
to find; possibly because it is different for everyone. In the past year; reoccurring shingles has been the biggest problem, along with increased allergies and eczema. Although these issues seem minor in the big picture; they do affect quality of life. Thank you for drawing attention to this problem!
Mine was a long journey as probably the same for others w/HER2+ diagnosis in Sept 2010 followed by 12 mos Herceptin which FINALLY ended in 2012
I thought I was done....done for good.
July 2015, 3 years later, I though my new lump was just scar tissue from my lumpectomy & lymphectomy, so in September 2015, I visited my breast cancer doc hoping to be reassured.
He did a biopsy right in the spot. I don't recall the # of days it took for me learn my cancer had returned. I was even more bewildered when Doc told me is was not the same cancer.
Triple Negative were his words. More agreed ice to treat since It appeared back inter same spot of the same breast as my 1st HER2+ cancer. This time, radiation was out of the treatment plan since I'd had 6 weeks of radiation in 2011.
Mastectomy were his words and back to chemo again. I'm not sure if it was just more powerful drugs, Cytoxin & Taxotere, than the drugs of my 1st chemo 3 years earlier (red devil & Taxol). I lost my hair both times.
I am so much more tired this time. Not just tired, completely exhausted. I finished chemo in Feb 2016 and I am just "done". I underwent a double mastectomy March 4th. I am still healing after many, Many, MANY complications. Failed implant, wound care, hyperbaric chamber, months and MONTHS of rounds of antibiotics not powerful enough.
I am so tired. It's been a very long, very emotional journey, TWICE.
I filed for divorce (adultery w/my best friend) from my husband of 35 years 2weeks prior to my diagnosis. I don't remember a THING about anything. I only focused on what was in front of my at that moment. I was a zombie. My heart was broken. I asked my radiologist from my MUGA scan if it REALLY could show my broken heart. Tomorrow would've been our 40th wedding anniversary. I am STILL so very sad AND angry.
My Daddy passed a few months before my 2nd Dx. I moved in w/my parents prior to his passing to help Mom. I found myself becoming SO AGGRAVATED. I'd been married since 1976 and returning home was a real blow to my self-esteem. Mom has Dementia/Altzheimer's. I have trouble coping with ANYTHING. I am too tired to even make a decision about anything.
I'm broke. I receive a bit of alimony pay each month, it feels like an i.v. drip. I've been on unpaid medical leave for 6 months, since March 4th.
Literally, I'm just "done". I was was in an accident a month ago on my way to the grocery store. A young girl hit my truck and fled. She hit me so hard it totaled my little pick up truck. The seatbelt smashed my remaining tissue expander and moved it.
So, I'm tired of "life" piling up on me. Very tired of stress. Very tired of things beyond my control. Very tired of decisions and situations of others that affect me.
I just want to find a quiet place and find my sanctuary. 2010 feels like a lifetime ago, but so many incidents of trauma and drama feel like it was just last week.
I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I have PTSD. I have memories that won't stop. Everything is a reminder of "us". My mind recalls events that I had put in the back ground while I dealt with something else at that moment. The recall is fresh & new, like it just occurred I find it hard to deal with that. My mind is like mush. Chemo brain. Neuropathy. Depression.
Nothing to look forward to except my Mom's forgetfulness and arguments that I could really care less about. I just give up and let her be. She's always right and she always has been. She's a spoiled brat now and always has been. She was the oldest of 5 kids and the only girl. She always got her way. She used to harrass my Dad and pout when she asked for new carpet, paint for the walls. Not because the tongs are needed, but because she didn't like the color of the carpet she chose several years earlier and paint "just to freshen" up.
Mom drives me crazy. I just want the world to stop and let me off.
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