Husband having difficulty

Started by NotSureWhere2Turn, December 23, 2016
1 reply for this topic
NotSureWhere2Turn

Member
558 Posts
Posted on
December 23, 2016
In the summer of 2014 my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. After 6 months of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, removal of her ovaries, 3 or 4 different reconstructive surgeries, 30K in medication, and a whole bunch of therapy we're now 2.5 years later and I am havine a lot of trouble dealing. I love my wife, we have 2 young children together who were very young when she was diagnosed so that didnt make things any easier, on top of which I work full time in a pretty high profile job. I have always been very supportive and did my part to help he and my kids through this very tough time. I went to every appointment, took care of her, brought the kids to daycare and picked them up, made dinner, kept the house tidy all while working a full time job. My problem is, she has no libido and I can count the times we've been intimate over the past 3 years on 1 hand. I try, but she wants nothing to do with it. I'm not even 40 and I feel like I'm wasting the best sexual years of my life. There is no light at the end of this tunnel, she can't take hormones and the meds shes on for the next 10 years will continue to drop her libido according to the doc, so hormone therapy isnt even an option. As a man, I am really having a hard time dealing with this, I thought I would be able to just ignore it and things would get better, but I am just getting more and more frustrated and find myself fantasizing about other women and looking at an unhealthy amount of internet pornography. It's starting to affect my every day life at work, socially, everywhere... I don't want to divorce my wife, that would be devastating to the kids, but we've really grown apart in the past few years and I feel as if I'm just going through the motions of life right now. I know this sounds a little selfish, but it's how I feel and I really think I've given everything I should have as a man, husband and father. I'm really just trying to be honest and looking for anyone out there that can help with some advice. Thank you
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dandelion

Member
0 Replies
Posted on
January 03, 2017
As a breast cancer survivor and dealing with all that you listed above that your wife has and is going through, you BOTH need to seek counseling. My husband had a difficult time as well and turned to internet pictures as a weakness. I was utterly devastated when I found out he was doing this one year ago. I am still dealing with the hurt every day of my life but have chosen to NOT leave him because he is VERY remorseful for what he has done. He has actually become a better husband so I see this storm has brought us a better marriage. We are also very faithful people. I urge you to please please ask your wife to go to counseling and you have to STOP the internet porn, it is extremely unhealthy for you and your relationship.
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