Before my chemotherapy and radiation for fallopian tube and uterine cancer, a very nice person sat with me going over all the necessary paperwork. She covered the usual what to expect items. Also covered was a huge list of possible side effects. The list was long and rather intimidating. I, like many others before me, listened and read with some dread, but also that flimsy "it won't happen to me" sent up from the center of the self trying its best to stay in denial. For me the peripheral neuropathy began after my first round of chemo. It came on strong and fast. Even though the dosage of drugs was adjusted for the following chemo sessions, the neuropathy continued to worsen. A session of chemo was skipped to allow my body some healing time.
Here I am three years post-treatment and the peripheral neuropathy roars along a horrible as ever. I take all sorts of meds to try to control the pain, burning and muscle cramps in my legs. All those meds also have side effects.
I told my Oncologist that had I known this was going to happen, I would have skipped chemo altogether. She asked: "you have rather died". Yes, I replied somewhat resolutely. It has ruined my life.
I am now trying to think more positive and have changed my thinking from "ruined my life" to "changed my life". That works some of the time. Other times I collapse in weeping because I can no longer do what I want to do. I allow myself an occasional pity party then move along to those things I can still do.