July of 2016 I was diagnosed with small cell cancer of the cervix, stage 4. This is a very rare and aggressive form of cancer.
In August I began 6 rounds of chemo , ending the final treatment just before Christmas.
Last week I went through robotic surgery to remove all my female organs and on Valentines Day received the "Holy Grail" of pathology reports : cancer GONE!
The doctor declared this nothing short of a medical mystery and miracle: no explanation!
My support group is elated. I'm relieved and, yes, of course happy for the results ! Months of prayers, love, and support around the world, plus lifestyle changes added to my "miracle".
So what is happening now? I am weary. I think I should be going for a walk but with no one to walk with I lay on the couch instead.
I should take a shower, do some grocery shopping, whatever little task needs to be done but I can't get motivated.
Before cancer I was very active. No one had to motivate me to do anything. Now I am just tired, not sleepy tired, but weary. It's not the surgery last week..minimally invasive! I can do almost anything I feel up to! That's what they say anyway.
I was fighting for my life. Now I have it but...life is not "as it was" and it is very lonely.
I can't just "jump into activity". Though I could, more than I do but I don't . I contemplate, seek, and wait for meaning.
If I've been given another chance at life..for however long that might be...there is a reason,
I'd be interested in hearing from some others on how they handled this inertia for I must get off this couch...
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