Still in treatment after almost 25 years. Seems like when I would need a different drug the FAD would have just approved a new one. My 25 survary will be in January 2018 and about a year ago I started thinking about some way to celebrate. But over the last 3 to 4 months my thinking has taken a direct opposite turn. January 2017 my oncologist changed my course of treatment to Ibrance/Faslodex. More SA to struggle with.
In my thinking of 25 years all I can think about is that I'm tired. Tired of dealing with all that has gone on in regards to my breast cancer. The biggest problem in looking back is all the "happy little surprises". Yes that is what I call them.
So I don't think I will be celebrating so have stopped thinking how to do it.
Suzn, I am awed at how long you have been aboard the mets train. Your feeling that there is nothing to celebrate in all this says volumes about what it means to have a cancer diagnosis...and what it means to survive one, whether with active disease or in remission.
I feel very conflicted about it all. I think I would feel less conflicted if everyone from my oncologist to the stranger on the street realized that if your treatments were very intensive, there may well be no "after" with cancer. That is, no "after" that enables you to resume the life you once knew.
It comes down to "I don't want to die. It's not that I want to die. But I just don't want to continue living this way.... Because, really, this isn't living."
My best to you, Suzn. I hope that just the right thing will happen in January that will mark your surviversary for you.
Page 1 of 1 1
You must log in to use this feature, please click here to login.