A practice of gratitude has been shown to have many positive effects on ones life, but I must admit that I get really tired of this rosy outcome to cancer attitude. "Cancer taught me so many lessons" or "each day is a blessing" "I'm so glad to be alive" is only one side. While I am happy to be alive, given the alternative, I'm angry that so much was taken from me. I'm angry that my doctors cared more about extending life as far as possible versus having a real conversation with me about what in my life mattered. I'm not satisfied with this "new normal" that everyone talks about. Sure I've adapted, I've made adjustments but lets get real--something happened that took much from me and I'm pissed.
As time has passed my life has returned to "normal." I do stop and smell the roses, I find that I am more daring and willing to try new things, but I'm still pissed. Life is a balance for me--between the loss and the gain.