When my husband was dying of colon cancer in 2005, a doctor said to me, "If there's anything you've left unsaid, say it now." Well, much had to be left unsaid, and it haunted me until I read the following advice in Cure: "'I often say you had 40 years with this person. Your husband knows how you feel,' says Jimmie C. Holland, M.D., a psychiatrist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center. 'I don't think those last breaths and last moments are as important as people sometimes think they are.'" Your friend, too, knows how you feel. I think your card could simply say, "Thank you for the laughs and the hugs. I love you."