I agree with the statement above. We don't sit idly by, oh my. We're the plate-spinners, the researchers, the ones taking the notes at onc appts and the keeper of "the notebook." We are the ones holding-it-all together. In our situation, the cancer still is there, after years and years. The thing that hurts the most is the change in behavior, mostly regarding having to be in control 24-7. It's emotionally exhausting. I miss my "pre-cancer" husband.