Such a thoughtful article! I have been living with cancer for years, and until recently felt that I was healthy EXCEPT--lately, I've felt distinctly less healthy. I still don't know if this is permanent or temporary, but I love the idea of using how you feel as a barometer.
I'm in a support group for people with metastatic cancer, and one member always responded to the bus analogy by saying, "Maybe anyone could get hit by a bus, but this bus has my home address." I think you acknowledged a continuing issue. Well said!
Plan a treat for yourself to enjoy after every chemo. You might buy yourself a bouquet of flowers, plan to visit a spot of natural beauty, or watch an enjoyable movie. It needn't be big, but it gives you a small pat on the back. I also created a pocket sized photo album of people and places I love. This album reminded me of why I was doing this. I chose my favorite images of these people, not necessarily the best images, and often I would just flip through the album and smile. Another tip was to daydream about what you hoped to be doing in six months. Chemo seemed like such a giant hurdle that for a while I had trouble remembering that for