My relationship with fear began five and half years ago with my breast cancer diagnosis. It has been a rocky relationship from the start. I never really wanted to have the relationship to begin with, but fear just kind of forced its way into my life. It’s funny, because it never asked if I was single and if I was interested in a relationship. Fear simply just bullied its way in and latched on to my life.
I let it happen. I let fear tag along every day at work, sit on the couch with me on a Saturday and I even found myself buying it a ticket to join me on every vacation over I took the last five years.
Gabbymac, sounds like you are taking that bull by the horns too!! I agree with you about looking over your shoulder. Fear just knows where to find us, but I am pretty sure it can't fight back as long as we are stronger. I think we all are! Thanks for taking the time to read my thoughts and write yours. Take care!
MAP, thanks for writing in!! I do think fear is the hardest part of the cancer journey and the part everyone seems to forget to tell you! I think we all just learn as we go. THANK YOU for your thoughts and reading what I had to say!!
Thank you for taking the time to not only read my thoughts, but write back. I appreciate your words and found comfort in them, myself. Uhh, cancer! It steals so much, doesn't it? Sometimes I run from the word cancer. Sometimes I run from the word "FEAR" itself. I wrote this article because I am trying my hardest to escape it and I have found it is easier said than done. I hope you have found some peace and less stress in your day to day. Sounds like you are moving in the best direction for YOU and guess what? That's all that matters. All the best to you!
Wow you couldn't of said it better! I can relate to so many of your points. I'm five years out. I always worry about what ever ache and pain is bother me at that moment. I never used to be that bad. I've learned to tolerate it but it's still tough. And also the seatbelt comments? I thought I was the only one. Glad to know there's another! Take care and hope you're doing well.
This couldn't have come at a better time. I too was told I could stop taking my Anastrazole. I tried everything possible to stay on it including begging and bargaining with my oncologist. He couldn't have been more clear that it was time to move on. AHHHHH!! It was like I couldn't wait for this day to come and then it did and then the panic began. Glad to see I am not the only one!! Thanks for sharing. Dana
Thank you for your response!! Nice to know that I am not the only one out there! Sometimes that fear is a little overwhelming!! It's hard to put that into words to people who don't understand! Thanks for the feedback. Here's to staying happy, healthy and hopeful!
Two weeks ago today I hit the big cancerversary. It was the one I wanted since the day I heard the words "you have breast cancer." It was the day I counted down to for years. However, as that day finally approached, I wanted to tiptoe around it. I wanted to whisper about it or maybe even ignore it. I didn't want to drag attention to it, wave my hands around, or make any big, sudden movements. What was I so afraid of? At first, I honestly wasn’t sure. I finally forced myself to break down my feelings about this day as person after person was asking me how I was going to celebrate being a five-year cancer survivor. I kept begging them not to ...
Thank you for sharing what we, as survivors are always thinking. Sometimes it is much harder being a survivor then people think!! I'm almost 5 years out and the fears always seem to be chasing me where ever I go. I am still outrunning them but they always linger. I always appreciate hearing other people's comments and realizing I am not alone.