BY GUEST BLOGGER | MAY 3, 2013
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." George Bernard Shaw
When cancer happens to us it's common to feel completely out of control. We go from our "normal" lives to something we reluctantly call the "new normal." The problem is that it doesn't feel normal at all because we are changed suddenly and forever.
I got a glimpse into the emotional trauma caused by sudden, catastrophic change as a trial attorney. Almost every accident victim I spoke with was overwhelmed by it, "I was going along fine and, all of a sudden, my entire life changed completely in a split second." I didn't relate then, but years later when I heard "You have cancer," I completely got it.
In truth, we feel out of control as we rocket through the diagnostic and treatment phases of cancer because we have little control. This is the nature of the beast. For the first six and a half months of my cancer journey (from mammogram to mastectomy), I white knuckled every decision, test, doctor's appointment and surgery.
It was only after my mastectomy that things began to slow down enough for me to begin the clean-up work that follows every emotional hurricane. For me, healing required accepting change and working through issues such as body image, mortality, stress, loss, loneliness and anger. As I did so I discovered the creative power of reinventing myself.
Although I had no control over the many sudden, traumatic changes cancer dealt me, when it comes to reinventing me, I have a lot of input. I can find little ways every day to live with mindful awareness. I can practice yoga and let uplifted feet lead to an uplifted heart. I can make small, healthy changes in my diet. I can savor moments of gratitude and cherish every opportunity to give back.
The following are the six tools you need to find your creative power of reinvention:
1. Resilience: The reason we're all still here and upright is because we're resilient. Nurture your resilience on a daily basis. (Read "Six Truths I've Learned About Resilience.")
2. Grief: No one gets hit by a bus and reinvents herself the next day. Grieving is the process of coming to accept the "new normal." It's painful, but it's a vital step in reinventing yourself.
3. Gratitude: I firmly believe that gratitude is the single most important building block of reinvention. Without gratitude, there is no hope. With gratitude, anything is possible because we know how very blessed we truly already are.
4. Support: Speak up, tell your story, share! If you want to find support you have to communicate. The beauty of finding others who "get it" is the strength they give you to reinvent yourself.
5. Small Successes: Make small stabs at reinvention to achieve small successes. As you do, you get bolder and can stomach more risk. You can do it!
6. Carefully Chosen Words: Reinvention is self-inflicted change and change is scary. That's why, even when you're excited to reinvent yourself, you're also anxious. Instead of scaring yourself unnecessarily, why not change your words and thus your approach. If you break out in a sweat every time you say, "I'm going back to work," try saying, "I'm excited to find new opportunities to (fill in the blank.)"
Reinvention also takes time and, most importantly, permission. We can reinvent ourselves and take back control over the "new normal." We can take what we've learned from our struggles and use our creative power to reinvent ourselves. When we decide "WhereWeGoNow," our reinvented selves create inspired healing, wellness and live out loud joy!
Debbie Woodbury is the author and founder of WhereWeGoNow, an interactive community for cancer survivors creating inspired healing, wellness and live out loud joy. Debbie is a blogger at The Huffington Post, an inspirational speaker, a support volunteer with The Cancer Hope Network, a member of the Carol G. Simon Cancer Center Oncology Community Advisory Board, a patient educator with the Pathways Women's Cancer Teaching Project, a wife and mother, and a former very stressed out lawyer. You can also find Debbie on Twitter and Facebook.RELATED POSTS