COMMENTS

C is for CUPID seem's like a good thing for me to check out. I'm a cancer survivor who lost someone I loved dearly in 2001. I haven't really dated since. I'm still in my 50's,( although it's never to late to find someone special) I'm ready to meet someone to be a special friend to me !!! It's hard to meet someone, and then eventually have to tell him that you have cancer.
- Posted by Sue Sayyae Reza 7/20/09 3:38 PM

Thank you for mentioning, CancerMatch at http://www.cancermatch.com CancerMatch is a free cancer survivor website, where many people have met and at least one, actually married. There are usually around a thousand people using cancermatch and more each day.
For Lesbian and Gay cancer survivors, there is also, http://www.outwithcancer.com Out With Cancer, run by a national nonprofit.
- Posted by Darryl Mitteldorf, LCSW 7/22/09 9:40 AM

LIVESTRONG offers great info about dating and relationships after cancer treatment. Check it out:

http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.266...

Also, we have info specific to the 15-39yr old survivors that may need more information about fertility concerns,etc.

http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.427...

Good luck to everyone! Tough road after cancer, but the community is here to support you!
- Posted by LIVESTRONG 7/22/09 1:50 PM

This is a great idea. Trying to decide when to tell someone about an illness is a tricky thing. I have a genetic disorder that both affects my life / activity level negatively but also has informed my choices about whether or not I plan to have children. Trying to find the right time in a new relationship to tell someone all of that is a balance I haven't figured out yet.
- Posted by @Sue_Anne 7/22/09 2:52 PM

I think this is great, but I also think people shouldn't be too concerned about dating a cancer survivor. I am dating one and have really come to appreciate the passion for life that she exudes. Her past with cancer really hasn't affected our relationship so I would hope that others don't look at cancer as a roadblock to dating.
- Posted by Peter 7/22/09 2:55 PM

I have a good friend who is a true testament to not being afraid to date a cancer survivor. She and her husband met and bonded as friends while he was undergoing treatment; in short order, they fell in love, he was pronounced cancer-free, and they got married. He'd been told he was sterile following chemo and radiation, but... lo and behold, she is due any minute with their baby girl, who will have 3 half brothers from his previous marriage! My friends are true soul mates who would never have had this wonderful story if she'd let his cancer get in the way!
- Posted by Lisa M 7/22/09 3:50 PM

Husband just died from cancer. it was his second battle in two years. Right now answer is NO FRIGGIN' way....However, I reserve the right to reverse myself. I'm in early mouring stages. Darned if I know what i will feel about this topic tomorrow let alone 4, 10, 23 years from now
- Posted by Kim 7/22/09 6:14 PM

My husband died from cancer (renal cell carcinoma) three years ago. It was a 3,5 year long and very hard struggle and I'm sure that I didn't get over and done with the whole story right now. As I realized on various occasions in the past.

It was really really hard and sometimes unbearable to see someone you love suffering that way and at last dying. And I'm not sure that I would stand it once again.
- Posted by Renate 7/24/09 5:16 AM

I am a survivor of liposarcoma of the pelvis and thank God I am remission. My first cancer was diagnosed in 2003 and had a recurrence on the same area on 2006. I went through a lot; but it was all worth it because I am still alive and cancer free. I have a lot of passion for life and people; I am a very loving individual. I date regularly and I hope to find that special man one of these days. If the date goes well and there is mutual attraction and chemistry; I usually tell them about my cancers on the 3rd or 4th date. So far the relationships have ended for other reasons; not for the fact that I am cancer survivor. To answer the question? YES I would date someone who has or had cancer; when you fall in love....you fall in love!!!!for better or for worse.
- Posted by Carmen 8/4/09 10:06 PM

I am the mother of a childhood cancer survivor and wow--this is a late term effect that I had not even considered. What are the ramifications to dating for survivors of childhood cancers?? Will my son carry a STIGMA the rest of his life?? CHILDHOOD CANCER SURVIVOR--BEWARE!!! I find this totally disturbing and why do these societal and personal issues never get attention??
- Posted by Christie Adams 1/21/10 6:14 AM

Hello, I have just stumbled upon this dating cancer survivor information. WHO KNEW!! I will definitely check it out and sign up. I am a 3 year survivor with a diagnosis of CML. Currently I take Gleevec (imatinib) daily and am doing well. I am single, 61 years old, and in the past I have had questions about dating. So these websites will be interesting to me. Also I plan on blogging. I do receive the Cure magazine, and pretty much read it from cover to cover. I have had alot of help from the American Cancer Society. Great Nurses to talk with. I will be nominating my nurse practitioners who I have been having a standing once a month appointment with since 2007.

Sincerely, Antoinette Bazzett in Palmdale, California
- Posted by Antoinette Bazzett 1/21/10 10:20 AM

Christie - I can't imagine how it feels as a mother to think about these things for your son. But, a 3-time survivor and one of my good personal friends wrote an essay for CURE last Spring that talked about his issues with dating and I thought it may be interesting for you to read it and if you have any other questions, I'm positive he would be OK with you contacting him to talk to him.

Here is a link to his essay he wrote for CURE: http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/arti...

And here is a link to a profile that was recently featured on the NCCN website featuring him: http://www.canceradvocacy.org/community/cancer-adv...

I'm sure it is a very scary thought, but I wanted you to know there are others out there that you can talk to about this and maybe answer some questions for you.

My best,

Alex

alex.hurd@curetoday.com
- Posted by Alexnadra @ CURE 1/21/10 10:30 AM

I would not have met the love of my life nor been likely to have it proven to me whilst I was living that God is real. But for my willingness to ask myself after our meeting, how do I feel about this lady? We all face death and the uncertainty when it will arrive. How we face our life is what comes to matter most.
- Posted by Jim 11/3/10 10:04 PM

I am a mother of a childhood cancer survivor and do see that there is discrimination. My son is a handsome guy but has had to have some facial reconstruction done. He has a great job, works out keeps in shape, takes good care of himself, but because his eye looks different women are not as willing to go out with him. Anyways I would love to hear from anyone with some insight.
- Posted by Joan Perez 1/6/11 1:15 PM

October, 2006 I was diagnosed with colon cancer. I'd been married to the love of my life for many years. He was a tower of strength for me. I had chemo, radiation, surgery, and followed by more chemo. In June of 2007 I finished my chemo. Because my lymph nodes were clear my doctors felt pretty certain I would have a full recovery. We were ecstatic. In May of 2008 my husband passed away unexpectedly. At that time, I wasn't sure I wanted to live. In 2009 I was contacted to serve on the planning board for my 40th high school reunion. It took a great deal of coaxing to get me to the first meeting. Months later I reconected with my boyfriend from the 9th grade. We've been together for more than a year now and he is biggest fan. He's (to quote him) in this for the long haul, good or bad he's by my side. I continue to see my oncologist every 6 months. He went with me for the first time last week. I believe with all my heart that my husband led this wonderful man to me. I will be forever grateful that this man has NO PROBLEM dating a cancer survivor. In fact, he plans to marry this cancer survivor.
- Posted by Millersp 1/19/11 7:22 PM

I am very glad I lived a lot of life before & even during cancer. Now as the after effects come
And I get older I honestly don't want to worry about what anyone else thinks.
There are so many other things to concentrate on especially if you have a child.

I can't control so many things but the things I can I am going to.
No one is going to make me feel bad about myself. My own sisters did a number on me
So I avoid them. I am self indulgent. I do what I want when I want and I don't want to worry
About breaking plans with someone. Been there done that, very frustrating= not good for you.

So I love my child and I love myself. For the first time in 45 years I come first.

If you don't meet someone~ don't feel bad you will have a real chance to learn about self love!
- Posted by HolidayMermaid 2/23/11 11:57 PM

Joan
I can relate to what your son struggles with. I too am a childhood cancer survivor. I was treated with massive doses of radiation and chemotherapy. Because of this my body stopped making growth hormone. I am a tall 4’9. Over the years I have often been mistake for a child while I was well in my 20’s. I thought I would never meet someone who would take me seriously. I was wrong. I met my husband in 2007 and we have been happily married for 1.5 years. My Cancer and health issues didn’t bother him. Nor did my stature. Everyone comes with baggage. Your son just have to find the right person. It will happen!
- Posted by Allison at CancerandCandy 7/18/11 12:53 PM

I think its great that there is web sites to provide that security for cancer survivors, as everybody will know what they're there for. I myself got diagnoses with alveolar soft part sarcoma in 2008, with no cure or succesful treatments, as its so rare. I got married April 2009, and 6 months later my husband left me unexpectedly to cope with my cancer and b the full time cater to our young daughter, she was two at the time.
My life has not changed, only my trial drugs cause side affects, I sometimes miss the companionship of my husband, we had been together for seven years. I wish there was a site for people with cancer just looking for some company and understanding of life with cancer. After all who knows, there may be two cancer fighters out there wanting to feel wanted still, and to find eachother could be great!
- Posted by katrina 11/19/11 6:03 PM

Holiday mermaid, I have to completely agree with you on ur comment, even though I sometimes miss the companionship of my husband, I have no time for a partner, and find life much simpler being on my own. Fighting a terminal rare cancer and being a single mum, I won't lie, is tiring, hard, and sometimes very testing, and agreeing to ur comment, the one thing I have gained from my husband leaving me in this situation, and that is self live, self worth, and self dependence. I will never again NEED a man for anything. I provide both the mother and father role to my daughter, and she is growing to be a wonderful, kind and caring little girl. I wouldn't have it any other way now. Although as with my previous comment, I do think it would be nice for those cancer fighters who want companionship to have a dating site.
Wake each day with a smile, and end each day with no regrets, that's my life now. Fighting cancer for my daughter.
- Posted by KATRINA 11/19/11 6:11 PM

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