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BY GUEST BLOGGER | SEPTEMBER 16, 2011
It is surreal to be spending a weekend at the Emmys and on the red carpet. It's also incredible to be a guest at Debbie Durkin's ECO Emmy Celebrity Chateau. It's a special event where I am fortunate to be sharing hope and awareness that it is possible to live with advanced cancer. Today is my 13th cancerversary.
I learned on this day 13 years ago that not only did I have colon cancer at the age of 31, but that it had already spread to my liver. My life and the lives of those around me were forever changed.
At times it seems like those words came only yesterday. In reality 4,742 days, 113,808 hours, 13 different chemotherapy agents (mixed, matched and revisited), three clinical trials, radiation (external, internal and targeted), Sir-spheres, vertebroplasty and Cyberknife have crossed my path since then. My children have spent more than half of their lives living in the shadow of cancer. Ronnie and I have shared more years with cancer than we have without. So this anniversary is not just mine. It is theirs as well.
Thirteen years with cancer may sound dismal to some. Our lives, however, are rich. We have discovered strength through vulnerability. We have learned to meet and overcome challenges without flinching. Dreams have come to fruition in the midst of chaos and fear; with a diagnosis that means dying is inevitable and living long unlikely. Time together - that wasn't supposed to be - has been forever etched with cherished milestones and treasured memories.
We carefully watched our children grow; their progress joyfully carved into a doorframe. Childhood friends matured with them and we witnessed their progress, too, and cheered the growth. We marveled at their accomplishments. Winters turned to spring, spring to summer, summer to fall, and then the cycle began again. Wonder filled our days. Moonlit rides, camping trips, picnics and fun brought vitality to the gloom of cancer. Growing pains came and went. Empty nest syndrome took over. Then a three-year-old bundle of love refilled the nest and reminded us once again that life is full of surprises!
Friends and a special angel or two touched our lives, many that without cancer we would have never met. Others have been by our side through thick and thin, reaching out like a beacon in the dark. Help also came from organizations such as Colon Cancer Alliance, Fight Colorectal Cancer, American Cancer Society and LiveSTRONG where I met survivors and discovered the importance of self-advocacy. Without the support and guidance of both, I wouldn't be here today.
Still, living with terminal cancer had lonely moments. It became a personal goal to make sure that others in a situation like mine knew that there were options, support and hope – to know that they weren't alone. This prompted me to start YES! Beat Liver Tumors. What began as a small group of friends has blossomed to close a huge void for thousands that are affected by liver tumors. We inspire, encourage and share hope. We celebrate and laugh together, curse and cry together. We have comforted each other through losses and buoyed one another through victories. Together, we have learned how important it is to embrace each moment as it comes.
Every breath is a blessing. My blessings have been abundant... 13 years of precious time. Today we are celebrating my approximately 136,510,200 unexpected blessings of breath!
Suzanne Lindley has been living with metastatic colorectal cancer since 1998. She is the founder of YES, an organization for individuals living with metastatic liver tumors, and an advocate for C3: Colorectal Cancer Coalition.
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Thanks for sharing such a beautiful story of courage,hope,joy,love,faith,resiliency and inspiration. I am sharing this one because your message can really make an impact on people's lives.
- Posted by Judy Griffin 9/16/11 9:57 AM
Your story is powerful - we met a while back as we were both being advocates at the Nurse Navigators'conference in MO.
You have a powerful presence and your advocacy is so necessary.
As the founder of The Annie Appleseed Project (www.annieappleseedproject.org), my personal goal is to meet as many advocates as I can and educate them about natural therapies that can reduce toxicity and enhance conventional treatments, lifestyle changes that may help us live better and healthier, and complementary and alternative treatments as they may be needed as our cancer journeys continue.
- Posted by Annie Appleseed 9/17/11 8:11 AM
Very inspiring story. I am 5 years cancer free and I can relate to every word she wrote. We are blessed indeed!!
- Posted by Judith 9/17/11 8:18 AM
You are a blessing to all of us that know you and to even though that don't... your message of HOPE and inspiration is priceless. I'm so happy to be able to share this cancerversary with you, dear friend... spreading awareness and more hope!
- Posted by Pam Schmid 9/17/11 9:26 AM
We love you Suzanne - you are an inspiration to all of us!
- Posted by Jane Ali 9/20/11 12:29 PM
My Dear Suzanne,
You have blessed many lives.
I will forever have a special place
for you in my heart. You walked w/ my Susie
for many years as she fought to live. While her journey
was short lived-you made many things more worthwhile.
Your forever California Friend
Sheila
- Posted by Sheila Harris 9/20/11 12:42 PM
COLONTOWN's own Queen Bee continues to astound and amaze.
She travels about dispensing messages of hope and love to all who come into her sphere....and then rushes home for more chemo.
Suzanne: NONE of us know how you do it!!
But, please keep buzzing!!!!
much love,
erika
- Posted by erika hanson brown 9/20/11 1:29 PM
Suzanne,
Nell wouldn't be alive today had it not been for you. We carry the CURE magazine with your story in it everywhere we go. You have touched and changed many lives with your willingness to share your journey. The ripples you so often talk about are endless. I'm betting that mamy of the lives and people those ripples reach are unknown.
I do hope that you someday turn your blogs into a book. We have every email, letter, and story about you that has crossed our paths and use your words for not only inspiration, but often guidance. When there seems to be no hope left, we somehow catch a glimmer from you.
Our love to you on this special day,
Tom
- Posted by Tom and Nell Mast 9/20/11 5:41 PM
Suzanne,
You and I met a few years ago through of all things...an Ebay transaction. Remember a purple ruffled dress?
Since that day I have cherished and kept every one of your email messages. I have lost a few friends and family during this time and it is such a comfort going back and re-reading some of you beautiful writings.
You give us all hope and for that I will always be grateful.
With love on your special day.
Pam
- Posted by Pam Wallum 9/20/11 9:30 PM
Suzanne:
My admiration for what you have gone through with such positive attitude is boundless. You are an inspiration to all. I am so glad to know you, and thank you for including me in your e-mails. Congratulations on your 13th. anniversary.
Peter
- Posted by Peter Chan 9/20/11 9:35 PM
Happy 13th, Suzanne!
I will be forever grateful for the months that your family welcomed me into your home. Never before or since have I experienced the warmth and concern that you offered. You gave me a new beginning!
Love to you and yours.
- Posted by Rachael Foerster 9/20/11 11:27 PM
Suzanne,
My dear new Best Friend. You are amazing, the things that you have dealt with and deal with everyday is, to some of us catastrophic. (did i spell that right) oh well you know what i mean. These last couple of months have meant a lot to me. You really listen and know where me and hub are coming from cuz you been there. I just wish I had your faith, you could move a mountain with your words i do believe. anyway thanks for all you have done and all you do for others, you are truly a loving,hopeful and enthusiastic person and that is the one trait i wish i had more of. but because of you i tell myself if she can do it with cancer herself i can do it for my hub who has colon cancer that has spread to his liver. hugs and kisses,
debby
- Posted by Debbie Wooten 9/21/11 6:19 PM
To be lucky enough to be counted as your friend is one of my life's high points. You know my gratitude for being there through and after the hardships is bottomless. Special angels we have met in our journey have added a meaning to the fabric of our lives we could barely have aspired to in our youth.
- Posted by Dr. Jim 9/26/11 10:29 PM