Cancer, Covid, and Quarantine

Right now is a time to be united as one group of humans who are all doing their best to stop the pandemic that is COVID-19. The thing that everyone needs to realize is that the human race has many more things in common than different. We are all going through this, and whatever this means for each person is different but the meat and potatoes of it are the same. Right now it's human nature that we are all freaking confused because this is craziness, right? I've never been in a pandemic, have you? This is definitely my first rodeo, and as the saying goes that is an extremely low number of rodeos. The surge of emotions we are all feeling really sucks to be honest. But THIS is the part that we need to remember the most, how it felt. How will this change you? What will you do different? How will the way you choose to change?

Having emotions is what makes us feel alive and what drives our souls. We are all going through life-altering changes and change is scary. It's scary for the elderly, it's scary for middle-aged adults, it's scary for teens and it's scary for the 4-year-olds who want their homes to be their home and their preschool to be their preschool. I think it's fair to say we are all fearing for stability and finances, the uncertainties of what is to come or not to come per se. Our routine lives have been turned into chaos. There is a presence of apprehension of death or a loved one's death due to COVID-19 and it has instilled crippling anxiety into people all over the world. There is a longing, a prayer, "for it just to be over," for life to go back to "normal". Life as we knew it is highly sought after.

The frustration of not having an exact timeline or a punctual date of when it will stop or when you can resume your lifestyle many people cannot comprehend. Having to stop the things you want to do, the places you want to go, the everyday mundaneness of doing as we please have turned people's lives upside down it seems. This has been our life since my cancer started in October of 2017. The world is experiencing the feelings that a cancer patient experiences daily, this is our reality. I know right now with the pandemic there are a lot of tears, a lot of anger and for me..."I'm just feeling a lot of feelings." I haven't shared this news yet, but 2 weeks ago I was given my sixth cancer diagnosis. Cancer, corona, and quarantine— mind blowing right? I swear you can't make something like this up, it is and has really been happening in the life of the Waginger's. I love the quarantine part but the other 2/3 I would rather not be participating in. I have too many feelings and frustrations right now to put into words. I think I would need a chapter in a book at this point.

My previous post is a glimpse at one frustration of many regarding my health and COVID— what a terrible time for cancer. I just know I feel like I am on the never-ending wash, rinse, repeat cycle. However, I feel like it's my very own special limited edition version. It goes like this, the what kinda-cancer are you washed up with now, here's some different chemo rinse, repeat because clearly you are not rinsing right, so let's try and go with something new. This is worse than the tiger king if you can imagine that. It's that bad y'all. I have been referred to the bone marrow transplant center to discuss my eligibility. We are praying I will meet all qualifications to be able to receive a transplant because as I've heard before with other cancers, this is the only cure. This would be a life-saving gift.

Please never take your life for granted and please pause to count your blessings. They are all around you if you just look! Don't let a little quarantine and craziness in your daily routine blind you to the true meaning that life offers. Remember to never let the things you want make you forget the things you have. The things that matter, like really matter. God has a plan for everything. I've come to learn that sometimes what we learn and who we become in the process of waiting is more important than what we're waiting for! During this time of waiting, I challenge you to stay home and wash your hands, but seriously enjoy this slowdown and this time with your family! I'm trying to accept what is, let go of what was, and I have faith in what will be. Even in the valleys I trust the plan, and pray that the great physician has a perfect bone marrow donor already lined up for me!