A cancer survivor explains how she was able to intimately reconnect with her spouse after cancer caused their love life to fizzle for many years.
My oncologist set me free in July of this year and then retired. I secretly imagined that she was waiting for me, one of her toughest cases (take my word for it), to reach her 10-year “cancerversary” so that she could leave without guilt.
At the start of 2022, many reminders of 10 years of breast cancer clutter my house. I take inventory and find these cancer artifacts: over a half-dozen prosthetic bras that I never wear, 13 bottles of unopened tamoxifen, years of old calendars with all my dozens of cancer appointments marked messily in them, one squishy prosthesis sitting on my bathroom counter and a box of acrylic hats from when I lost all my hair during chemo.
There’s also something new in our home, not an object, but a development — the most passionate, Hollywood-like sex I’ve ever experienced. Finally, I’m over the self-consciousness of my double mastectomy. I don’t care about the scars and the fact that my nipples are gone.
Since my oncologist released me this past summer, I’ve felt so much better about myself. My husband of almost 25 years and I make love with abandon and with pure enjoyment. I’m not thinking about intercourse anymore — I’m simply doing what comes naturally. At almost 59 years of age, I’ve hit my sexual peak.
I don’t think sex would be as good now if I hadn’t gone through a tremendous dry spell that lasted a decade consisting of two breast cancers.
But after a recent roll in the hay, I looked in the bathroom mirror and saw that my face was a rosy-red color. I was flushed with excitement. I was overjoyed.
And the next morning, I got on the scale to see that I’d lost a pound. They say that good sex burns calories. Here’s to a happy, healthy weight loss sparked by good sex!
The physical pleasure that came from our union the other night wasn’t even the best part. For the rest of the evening, I felt bonded to my husband in a way I’d never felt before. I enjoyed looking at his face and smiling at him. I found him extra attractive. He was the embodiment of the phrase “happily ever after.” Finally, the bad times had calmed down, and we were surfing some good ones.
And after we came down from our escapade, I asked him “Where have you been all of my life?”
He appreciated that.
I think what also contributed to our excellent sexual experience was that we had both received the COVID-19 booster. We felt a little safer in that department as well.
And it didn’t hurt that my hubby had been on vacation from his stressful full-time job as an engineer for almost two weeks.
There are so many things in a marriage marred by cancer that can keep partners from engaging in and enjoying sex. For one thing, you simply don’t feel great emotionally; facing death can bring you down. And you don’t like the way you look. And there’s the pain that makes you ache.
But even if you don’t have cancer, there are things that can stand in the way. For once, we didn’t let the fact that our teenager was in the basement get in the way of making love. Let’s just say that the heavens were aligned. Things finally came together, and I’ll never be the same.
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