Healing Through Advocacy and Self-Discovery After AML Diagnosis

Zac Mirecki reflects on six years of survivorship, sharing how his AML journey taught him to prioritize self-care, seek connection, and support others through advocacy.

As I reflect on my 6th year of survivorship from an acute myeloid leukemia (AML; stage 2/IDH2) diagnosis at 32, I look for the silver linings of life with cancer and what this disease has taught me about living, relationships, health, and emotional balance. At diagnosis I was run-down, weary and (in hindsight) battling co-infections and an eating disorder, but had the wherewithal to drive myself to the local Emergency Department knowing something was not quite right.

Within 48 hours the preliminary results were back for a leukemia and that started a five-month journey of spinal taps, bone marrow biopsies, clinical trials, high dose IV chemotherapy and an allogeneic stem cell transplant as a curative treatment. From being close to death to having no evidence of disease in that very short time changed my life as it would anyone's. I grieved the loss of the old self and became more comfortable in my new skin.

I can now find solace in the day of diagnosis during which time I felt a wave of peace and warmth wash over my body from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes in knowing things would be alright. I think that is the closest thing I've had to a spiritual experience, but it prompted an inner fight to never give up and always remain active in my care and asking a myriad of questions to learn about my disease and treatment. A positive mindset was critical for me during that time as was staying as active as I could.

I frequently meditated, colored, read, and watched hours of YouTube documentaries and Ted Talks to get out of my own head, even for a little while. I found new ways to keep the inner fire of curiosity lit and enjoyed my 8th floor suite to watch the city wake up and go to sleep every day. While those early days were not replete from any worry and fear, I did the best I could and learned to be okay with not being okay. Giving myself grace (and space) to slow down and be present was a challenge.

Those that know, know that hospital time is not regular time... the disjointed sleep and tests at the most inopportune times were my new normal but I knew it would not be this way forever. I learned that I had to be my own advocate and that that taking care of myself was not a selfish act. The outcome of my care was directly correlated to how much I chose to put into it as much as it was from the skill and art of the care team.

The boundaries I rarely had in my life before cancer became critical during my treatment (and after) as I sought that inner peace once again. My plane was going down and I never put my own oxygen mask on but did with cancer. I learned that I cannot be in position physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually to help others if I did not take time to care for myself first.

My strength and joy during those long in-patient stays came from nature, music, reading, long conversations with friends and family, mountain dulcimer lessons from a selfless Certified Music Practitioner, and plenty of naps. I credit my inner fortitude to God and the bond of strong relationships.

I cherish the opportunities to share my story and help others find their own strength and determination as a peer mentor through the Cancer Hope Network, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and work with the Patient Advocate Foundation. Do not forget to put your own mask on and remember you are never alone, and you are always loved.

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