I Was 38 and Things Were Going Great, That is Until I Had a Cancerous Lump

April 10, 2021
Marissa Holzer
Marissa Holzer

Marissa is a 40-something "flattie" in sunny SoCal living with metastatic breast cancer, her boyfriend (and high school sweetheart) and the memory of her not-so-mini schnauzer, Heidi, who was taken too soon by canine lymphoma. She enjoys reading, stress baking and roller skating. She hopes to inspire others with her stories about life with cancer.

A person living with metastatic breast cancer shares a poem regarding how her life changed in an instant, and how she continues to push forward even though her disease is extensive.

I was only aged 38.

I thought my life was going just great.

Until one day I found a lump,

A hard, round cancerous bump.

Which led to hospital beds

And way too many meds.

My life became countless pills

And endless bills.

As the chemo slowly drips,

I have my moment to come to grips,

With the new reality I am facing,

The future for which I am now embracing.

No lashes, no brows, no hair,

Thanks, chemo, now I’m bare.

Nothing makeup or wigs can’t hide,

Only you know yourself inside.

I will not let appointments and IV poles

Interfere with my life’s goals.

I am moving ahead.

I refuse to spend my days in bed.

I will not mope,

For I have hope,

To live another day and to continue to keep my cancer at bay.

Writing to get these words off my chest,

As I rid this tumor from my breast.

I’m in a place of healing,

not concealing.

Hearing of tumors tends to spread rumors.

All my sharing

appears to help with how I’m faring,

From the pain that I have felt

with the cards I’ve been dealt.

They say you don’t look sick,

as the cancer clock continues to tick.

Slash, poison, burn. Treat, scan, repeat.

I will not give in to defeat.

It’s spread to my liver, my lung,

For me, no bell will ever be rung.

Treatment for life,

Living with a disease that is rife.

Although my scarring

May be marring,

I’m still here.

I’ve survived another year.

We need a cure,

That's one thing I know for sure.

All the lives lost,

It must be stopped at all costs.

My outlook continues to remain bright,

What other choice do I have but to finish this fight.

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