Felicia Mitchell

In October, as we recognize Breast Cancer Awareness Month, let us not forget women with dementia. The mammogram, and related cancer treatment, can be controversial for elderly dementia patients. A care team will help with decision making. In my case, with my mother, we chose to follow-up on a very late diagnosis of breast cancer, with no regrets.

Sometimes I drive myself a little crazy wondering what I did to get breast cancer (even though I know logically why I likely did). I think too much. I am pretty sure I am not alone in this. Cancer survivors, including me, really should try to lose the Blame Game.

A cancer diagnosis can send people reeling. Who should you listen to as you decide the next step? Who should you ignore?

There are so many choices on the market to confuse us about healthy living. Let us be thankful that many products come with warning labels to alert us to potential cancer risks, even if they are sometimes so small we overlook them at first glance.

After a mastectomy, a woman is faced with many choices. My advice is to do what is most comfortable and healthful for you. The prosthetic bra, the asymmetrical or flattened chest, reconstruction—any of these choices should feel right if a woman listens to her own heart.

There are as many ways to write a bucket list as there are personalities. Goals can be practical or dreamy, lists long or short. Some bucket lists are like drill sergeants, others a soft voice whispering in your ear. If “write a bucket list” is on your bucket list, here are a few tips.

What is in your chemo tote? What should you give somebody who is getting ready to use one? Make a list, and check it twice.

I recommend that anybody treated for breast cancer learn about lymphedema before it ever becomes an issue. Information can help with preventative or palliative care. I also hope that distress lymphedema causes, if it develops, is something you can talk to doctors, friends, and survivors about.

Sometimes a scarf will turn a cancer patient into a kindness magnet. Wearing this symbolic covering taught me that even strangers want to help us through the day in our cancer journeys. I learned to let them.

The cancer experience is different for all of us that is sometimes easy to navigate and sometimes not at all. Yet we all join the same team once we hear the words “you have cancer.” We can help each other to cope.

If you have a family member who is sick or terminally ill, my advice to approach a holiday is to remain festive, even if the person you want to celebrate does not appear inclined to join in too many festivities. The holiday may become one you will never forget.