Building My Medical Team and Support System After a Cancer Diagnosis

Patti McGee is an author, a massage therapist and breast cancer survivor of 20 years. Catch up on all of Patti's blogs here!

When you’re newly diagnosed with cancer, the world can feel like it’s closing in. Everything is overwhelming between doctors’ appointments, test results, treatment decisions, and a tidal wave of emotions you never signed up for. In those first days, I learned that one of the most important things you can do is build a strong support system. You don’t have to do this alone, and you shouldn’t try to.

If you’re just beginning this journey, my first piece of advice is simple: reach out. Lean on your family and friends, even if you’re not sure what to say or what you need. When I was diagnosed, I let my loved ones know what was happening. I was surprised by how many people wanted to help, and some even knew of doctors or resources I’d never heard of. Don’t be afraid to ask if anyone has recommendations or connections. Sometimes, the best support comes from the most unexpected places.

After my diagnosis and surgeries, it was time for me to assemble my team of doctors. I was blessed to live in a small city of about 11,000 people. Despite its size, we had an oncology center, a branch of a larger hospital, that was intimate and welcoming. My oncologist was well-known and respected, and I was lucky she had openings for new patients. My surgeon, also local, did a phenomenal job with my lumpectomy. My radiologist didn’t have the best bedside manner, but his radiology technician was incredibly kind and caring. That kindness made all the difference during my treatment. After my treatment ended, I chose to stay with my oncologist and surgeon for the next ten years, letting go of the radiologist.

I remember meeting my oncologist for the first time. She looked me in the eye and said, “We are going to treat you aggressively so you never have to go through this again.” Without hesitation, I replied, “Let’s do it.” That trust and partnership meant everything to me and still does 22 years later.

Back when I was diagnosed, online communities weren’t as common or accessible as they are today. My lifeline came from the support groups I attended in person, and eventually, the two groups I helped create. There’s something incredibly powerful about sitting in a room with others who truly understand what you’re going through. We shared our fears, our triumphs, and even our darkest moments, face-to-face. Those meetings became a haven where I could be honest and vulnerable, surrounded by people who “got it.”

One of the biggest lessons I learned is that you have the right to build your team your way. Unless you need surgery immediately, take the time to research your options. If your gut tells you to get a second opinion, do it. This is your journey, your body, your life. Ask questions, lots of them. No concern is too small, and no question is too silly.

Most importantly, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s a ride to treatment, a meal for your family, or just someone to listen, let people in. Cancer is tough, but you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.

Looking back, I’m grateful for the support system I built, my family, my friends, my doctors, and the incredible people I met through support groups and retreats like Camp Good Days and Special Times located on Keuka Lake in Western New York. Each played a unique role in my healing. If you’re just starting, know that support is out there. Reach out, build your team and remember you are stronger than you think, especially when you let others walk beside you.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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