Emerging from Isolation After Cancer Reaped Many Rewards

Ron Cooper received a diagnosis of prostate cancer in 2014 and is currently in active surveillance. Catch up on all of Ron's blogs here!

For four years after my diagnosis of prostate cancer, I stubbornly stayed in self-imposed isolation. I was still working as a freelance editor and writer. I figured that I could just plow my way through this new reality by meeting deadlines and helping others polish their books and articles.

Then, in 2018, I had the rug pulled out from under me. A serious shoulder condition made it impossible to spend hours at my keyboard, much less meet the requirements of demanding clients. I was forced to retire, leaving me countless idle hours to reflect on my fragile health.

That year, I joined Gilda’s Club Kentuckiana in Louisville, and so began a now seven-year journey of companionship and support with other cancer survivors. At Gilda’s, I joined a writers’ group, where creative juices were flowing and friendships flourishing.

I also became a judge of middle and high school students’ essays on their experience with cancer in their immediate families or circle of friends, and I joined a twice-weekly Zoom group called “Lunch & Laughs.”

I began to come out of my cocoon not only at Gilda’s, but also at Norton Cancer Institute of Louisville, which offers many programs for cancer patients and their families.

Among the programs that I took advantage of were a weekly breathing exercise and meditation class to reduce stress, and a prostate cancer support group held over Zoom monthly. Also, a nutritionist created a dietary plan perfectly suited for cancer patients like me.

By 2020, I had gained a widening circle of friends and fellow travelers on Journey Cancer. Many have become lifelong friends, the kind of people for whom you remember their birthdays and anniversaries. The kind of people with whom you mourn the loss of loved ones. And the kind of people where you can just plain get real.

An example: Last spring, I was absent for several weeks from my regular online support group at Gilda’s. I had gone back to my old habits of self-isolation when cancer threatened to recur and turn my life upside down again. I decided, foolishly, to fight the good fight solo.

After a few weeks, I thought the group had moved on and forgotten about me. I had made no effort to reach out to them and bring them up-to-date on the latest news of this cancer merry-go-round. Then the phone rang. It was Mary Gatton, the group leader, who asked if she could put me on speaker phone. The group was meeting just then and was eager to get an update.

I agreed, and instantly I was back in the groove, sharing what I should have shared weeks earlier to regain the emotional support that I so desperately craved. Soon, I rejoined the group and it was as if I had never left it. I was accepted and I accepted them as true friends, where we treat one another as a second family.

So, what lessons have I learned over the years about the importance of being part of a cancer community?

1. Coping alone with cancer can lead to self-pity and despair, and work or other diversions won’t ever serve as anything but a temporary escape from the unsettling truth about your health.
2. Taking that first step of becoming involved with cancer support groups can be difficult because naturally we will feel most vulnerable sharing our struggles and worries with total strangers.
3. But strangers can quickly become friends. After all, they, too, had to take that first step, and they managed to come out of it unscathed. They paved the way forward for you.
4. Gilda’s Club and other organizations for cancer patients offer emotional support in a confidential setting. Rest assured, you can safely share anything with them.
5. Once you are part of a cancer group or organization, you are always a member in good standing who can expect earnest friendship and loving support.

My 11-year journey with cancer has been anything but care-free; however, it has proven far better for me to have some company along the way.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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