Multiple Myeloma Survivor Valerie Traynham: "Survivorship Starts the Moment You Hear, 'You Have Cancer'"

For many people, the word "survivorship" brings to mind the moment treatment ends. But for Valerie Traynham, a multiple myeloma survivor who was later diagnosed with breast cancer, survivorship began much earlier — the day she first heard the words, "You have cancer."

Diagnosed with multiple myeloma at 42 and breast cancer just four years later, Traynham has experienced firsthand the physical, emotional and mental challenges that come with living through cancer. While treatment may end, she says the journey of survivorship continues long afterward, bringing new perspectives, new challenges and new opportunities.

In a conversation with CURE, Traynham shared what survivorship means to her, how she has learned to navigate life after cancer and the advice she hopes every patient hears after receiving a diagnosis.

Cure: Can you introduce yourself and tell us a little about your cancer journey? What does survivorship mean to you today?

Traynham: I'm Valerie Traynham. I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma at the age of 42, and then just a few short years later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 46.

In those few short years, a lot transpired. There were many treatments and therapies. It has been rough and tiring at times, but nonetheless, here I am today, well into survivorship.

To me, survivorship means a new start. It means having a fresh perspective on life. It means getting used to your new normal, grieving the life you thought you would have and stepping into acceptance of where you are today.

Many people think cancer survivorship begins after treatment ends. How do you define survivorship, and when do you think it really begins?

I used to think survivorship started after treatment. But what I've learned on this journey is that survivorship starts from day one — the moment you hear the words, "You have cancer."

That moment is so emotional because you're immediately trying to figure out how you're going to survive. You're asking yourself how you'll get through that moment. That's why I believe survivorship begins the very first day you receive your diagnosis.

What were some of the biggest physical and emotional challenges you faced after treatment? What helped you adjust to life as a survivor?

One of the biggest emotional challenges was realizing that I wasn't going to have the life I thought I was going to have. To be honest, I'm just beginning to grieve some of that now, even though I'm well into survivorship.

When you're going through treatment, you're so focused on surviving that you don't always stop to process everything that's happened or everything you've lost. It's only later, when life slows down, that you really begin to reflect.

Physically, cancer treatments have left me dealing with fatigue, joint pain and other side effects that make it difficult to do the things I used to do. No matter how hard you try, sometimes your body just isn't capable of what it once was. I've had to learn to adjust and do what I can, when I can.

What has helped me the most is acceptance. I remind myself that I'm still here. I've been through something many people will never experience, and I'm grateful to still be alive. This is a new life — an opportunity to experience different things, explore new opportunities and truly cherish every day.

Looking back, what's one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you first entered survivorship?

I wish someone had told me that you can still enjoy life despite everything you've been through.

Life goes on. Survivorship gives you an opportunity to live differently and appreciate the small things we often overlook because we're so busy. Slow down. Appreciate your family, appreciate your friends and appreciate everything around you.

How has cancer changed your perspective on everyday life, your relationships and the goals you set for yourself?

I focus much more on setting short-term goals that eventually build into larger ones.

I've also learned to cherish the people in my life. I try to make everyone I meet feel seen, heard and understood because life is short, and you never know what someone else is going through. That wasn't always my mindset before cancer.

Today, I don't take moments for granted. I try to truly live in the present and take in everything I possibly can.

For someone who has finished treatment and is feeling anxious about recurrence or scan anxiety, what practical steps can help them feel more confident and supported?

As a two-time cancer survivor — and someone living with an incurable cancer — those thoughts never completely leave you. You always wonder if or when cancer will come back.

What has helped me is preparing myself. I've done the research, I know what treatment options are available to me, and I understand what the next steps could look like if I ever need them. Having that knowledge has calmed some of my anxiety because I know I have a plan.

I also think it's important to acknowledge those feelings. I still get anxious before every MRI and every scan. I still wonder, "What if this is the time?" But then I remind myself that if it is, I'm ready.

Cancer is something we can't completely control. We can make healthy lifestyle changes, but ultimately, cancer is going to do what it's going to do. Accepting that reality and preparing for whatever comes next has helped me move forward with greater confidence.

What message would you share with people who are newly diagnosed, currently in treatment or wondering if they'll ever reach survivorship?

Find something to have hope in and focus on that.

Know that you are not alone. There are millions of cancer survivors who have experienced the same fears and emotions you're feeling right now.

Talk to people who are well into survivorship. They can offer encouragement, inspiration and help you understand what life after treatment may look like.

At the same time, don't expect survivorship to be easy. Your body and your mind have gone through something tremendous, and it's important to acknowledge that. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust.

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