No One Told Us Breast Cancer Treatment Could Take Her Fertility

I remember sitting in the oncologist's office with my daughter when she was diagnosed with breast cancer at 27 and hearing that the treatment might take her fertility. Not the cancer. The treatment. I knew about hair loss. I knew about digestive issues. I knew about fatigue and brain fog. But the ability to conceive a child? That was news to us.

As I am sure it is to a lot of young women sitting in oncologists' chairs when they have been told that they have cancer in their 20s and 30s and are facing treatment.

My daughter was offered fertility preservation, which gave her the chance to freeze her eggs in case she wanted to have a biological child after cancer treatment and couldn't conceive the traditional way. When she was diagnosed, there wasn't a partner in the picture and, like many of her peers, she was still thinking about whether she wanted children at all. She had days to decide because of when chemotherapy was scheduled to start and the time the entire egg retrieval process would take.

One more life-changing decision she had to make in the whirlwind that followed her diagnosis.

In the end, she realized that she wasn't prepared for the decision to be taken away from her, so she went ahead. There is some cancer privilege guilt in that for me. Looking back, we are very lucky that the cost was covered because I'm not sure it could have happened otherwise since the procedure is expensive, plus the annual fee to keep the eggs in storage. I am sure that there are many young women out there who would very much like to keep their options open for future biological parenthood who can't because of money.

I have written before about how there should not be a first-class and an economy-class in cancer treatment options, and fertility preservation falls very strongly into that type of distinction. Those with insurance that covers it or those with the cash on hand to cover the cost of the procedure get to keep hope alive of cancer not taking being a biological parent away from them when it already takes so much. Those who don't ... don't.

Because the face of breast cancer in particular is not a 20- or 30-something woman who is still in her childbearing years, not a lot of attention is paid to this very significant difference based on the age at which a diagnosis happens. Oncologists don't have to sit down with the majority of their patients and talk about whether or not having children is part of their dreams because for many patients with breast cancer one of their children is sitting in on appointments or holding their hands on treatment days.

I know that my daughter was an outlier, that a diagnosis at 27 is rare. In fact, only about 4% of breast cancers are found in women under 40, or when they are typically thinking of having children. I know that everyone visited by breast cancer faces a rough road, but if we add loss of fertility to the already heavy burden these women have to bear, it's unthinkable that we wouldn't do something about it.

The only way I can see that happening is if we change the face of breast cancer to include women like my daughter.

This ... is what breast cancer can look like.

This piece reflects the author's personal experience or perspective. For medical advice, please consult your healthcare provider.
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