We Faced it All and We Stood Tall as Patients With Cancer

One of the things I remember the most vividly from the Paris Olympics was the powerful song sung at the end, “My Way,” by Frank Sinatra. This is one of my favorite songs, and having it sung in my favorite city was special to me.

The lyrics send a strong message, and the words are meaningful. Here is some of what is said:

I’ve lived a life that’s full.

I’ve traveled each and every highway.

And more, much more than this, I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few.

But then again, too few to mention.

I did what I had to do.

And saw it through without exemption.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew.

When I bit off more than I can chew.

But through it all, when there was doubt,

I ate it up and spit it out.

I faced it all and I stood tall. And did it my way.

The reason this song was chosen for such an important event is interesting. Paul Anka, a young French songwriter, loved the melody and wrote the English version from the French “Comme d’habitude” or “as usual” by Claude François. He felt Frank Sinatra was the perfect singer in the U.S. for this song. But why sing it in Paris? The French connection was that the next Olympics were to be held in the U.S. in 2028, and France would be transferring the responsibility for hosting the Olympics to the United States.

It seemed unusual to have such graphic descriptions such as “I ate it up and spit it out” in the middle of a melodic song. But, according to Anka, this stanza meant defiance and personal integrity. The song represents a sense of individualism and pride in living life by one’s own values.

As I pondered these words, it hit me that each of us cancer survivors fights our cancer “My Way,” and I respect this. Coping mechanisms vary greatly. Some people join social media groups, and others think it is no one’s business. Some draw their families closer and stay within that support system. Some retreat in solitude, and others, like the authors of Cure, use their experiences to support others. We may also do a combination during different times in our lives and make a shift. I hardly told anyone when I was first diagnosed, but later, I chose to become more public.

Some people wish to talk to friends and families, while others just can’t. There is no way to say this is right or wrong. The point is that at the end, we have lived a full life – our way.

Another difference for each survivor is a decision about treatments. Some people undergo horrific treatments and struggle against side effects just to survive another day. Others deny chemo or treatment because they do not want to tolerate these horrible side effects and brain fog. Some people choose to go through a yearlong recovery from a bone marrow transplant, while others choose to use those months to live without the misery and pain but know they may shorten their time on Earth. What I have discovered is that I cannot ever choose what another person, along with their family, decides to do. Just supporting them is important no matter what the decision is.

Lots of times, we do not know what is going to happen, and we bite off more than we can chew, then “spit it out.” That is another choice. We make the decisions at the time and then live with them. When I decided not to have the bone marrow transplant, I told my oncologist that life is a crap shoot, and this decision was too. In fact, most of our lives are lived this way - my way. The important part of the whole journey is that at the end of life, we faced it all and stood tall and did it my way. Every one of us cancer survivors do that.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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