Saying No to Shapewear After a Double Mastectomy

Laura Yeager is a two-time breast cancer survivor. Catch up on all of Laura's blogs here!

We have a family wedding this summer in July.

My niece, Sharon, is marrying the love of her life, William. She has a degree in Physics, and he has one in Chemistry. It’s a brainy match made in heaven. 

The women of the family are abuzz with talk of shapewear. Which company makes the best, most comfortable shapewear? Every woman in the family is purchasing a foundation garment — everyone except me.

Back in my mother’s day (she’s now 93), they called it a girdle. I remember Mom attaching stockings to her garters which hung from her white foundation garment. She bent over every morning to do this, getting ready to instruct students at a Catholic school. Mom didn’t even need a girdle, but she did like to wear stockings, and the girdle allowed for that. This was in 1965, when I was three. 

And back in her grandmother’s day, it was called a “corset.” When I was around nine in the 1970s, I went corset shopping with my great-grandmother and my mom. Gram was in her 80s at this time. I remember the saleslady lacing Gram up into a white corset with “whale” bones. Gram loved and depended on the support that the corset gave her back. She wore corsets until she was over 100. At that time, she was down to skin and bones, and a corset would have slid off her.

Call the little stretchy devil what you will, it’s still a pain in the butt.

At 62, I’m just not going there. ears back, I had a double mastectomy to rid myself of breast cancer. Since I don’t have breasts anymore, I’m less obsessive about what my body looks like. Heck, I might not even wear my prostheses.

I’ll wear a loose-fitting dress, something that falls gently over my “curves.” I have a few pieces that might work. One is navy blue with flounces that cover a multitude of sins. Another one is black; we all know that black is very slenderizing. The third dress is also black, but it’s stretchy. With an empire waist, I can get away with the stretchy material because the skirt part of the dress hangs away from my stomach bulge.

Don’t get me wrong; I’ll try to drop ten pounds before the big day, but I’m not jumping on the shapewear bandwagon. Since I’m taking Rybelsus, losing a little more weight shouldn’t be that hard (famous last words). I want to be comfortable, not constricted (I imagine a huge boa wrapped around my torso).

And don’t get me started on the price of shapewear. Sometimes it’s more expensive than the dress, especially when you shop regularly at the thrift store.

I guess I’m an old hippie at heart. Didn’t hippies let it all hang out? I was born in 1963, and I’m an aunt of the bride. Who cares if I look lumpy? I’m fine staying out of the pictures. I wish the dear bride and groom well, but I’m not donning shapewear.

Ff anyone tries to persuade me to “shape up,” they’ve got another thing coming.

So, friends, neighbors, and countrywomen, think before you feel obligated to smooth your tummy and behind. You’ve got a few other options. Simply lose a little weight. Wear a loose-fitting garment, or don’t give the issue another thought.

Life is too short to look that smooth.

Here’s the bottom line: It is much better to be smooth than to look smooth.

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