Finding Joy and the Power of a Smile Through a Two-Time Cancer Journey

Recently I’ve read intriguing stories by several of my CureToday peer bloggers. One of those was “The Power of a Smile” by Chester Freeman.

Going through non-small cell lung cancer 7.5 years ago, although it was not the first time I experienced malignant cell growth in my body, I feared I’d met my match.

Much earlier, in 2001, a mammogram led to a DCIS diagnosis. DCIS, or duct carcinoma in situ, is a very early stage of breast cancer. It would be over 20 years later, before that diagnosis would lead to a medical genetics test detecting a mutated ATM gene passed on to me through my mother’s side of my family, to my cousin and subsequently to my oldest daughter.  A mutation in that gene indicates an increased risk of developing not only breast, but also prostate, pancreatic, ovarian, colorectal and stomach cancers, as well as melanoma. That diagnosis was mostly worrisome to me because my mother had recently died of breast cancer, and she had been the third generation of women in her family who had received the breast cancer diagnosis.

My breast surgeon told me early on that my breast cancer was curable; that with removal of the malignant cells, 25 days of radiation and five years of the drug tamoxifen, once a day, it was likely it would not recur. Although I felt relieved not to need chemotherapy, I needed more assurance that my cancer would not return. I decided to have a prophylactic mastectomy, and reduced my odds of recurrence to less than 5%.  I found my smile.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief, and that feeling of gratitude led me to do something I had dreamed of, but never thought possible. I quit my job, and started my tutoring business. I wouldn’t worry, like I had, even before my diagnosis. The joy I felt led to a small smile forming on my face. I did feel a degree of anxiety because of giving up a paycheck. My business was a success for 25 years.

Seventeen years went by, before tumors were discovered, one in each of my lungs. In conjunction with the removal of the tumor in the first lung, lymph nodes were removed from my chest. They were tested, and found cancerous. I would need chemotherapy, radiation and possibly immunotherapy as well.

When I received the first round of chemo, the side effects hit me hard. My husband drove me to the oncology office. After examining me, the oncologist gave me the news, “All your symptoms are normal.” I vowed to beat the disease. I was inspired, and hope radiated from me.

I smiled as I ate well and exercised, so much so that I was able to travel back and forth to help my daughter and her young family cope with their Mommy being sick. Shortly before that time she had become the fifth woman in our family to be diagnosed with breast cancer. As I conserved my energy, the smallest of smiles crept across my lips .

As I saw my daughter continue to remain strong, and get good medical reports from her doctor, we were more and more able to support each other. My smile got wider.

I reached remission; it was time to start giving back. I was a relatively new member of my church, and soon after I joined the church, I became a part of St. Peregrine Cancer Support group there.  Several years later I wanted to get more active in the group, made the necessary contacts and assumed responsibility for recruiting new group members. My smile broadened. By attending church functions, I approached members and asked them if they had been touched by a cancer diagnosis.

Our group is now larger and more diverse. I’ve been successful, feel joyful and that joy shows through my smile.

I’ve mentored two cousins of mine, and I’m now very close to one of them. He and I had no contact for about 30 years before his cancer diagnosis led us to each other. Just thinking about our relationship now puts a smile on my face.

Last week I attended an American Lung Association Lung Cancer Survivor Luncheon, and met Kyalie, a representative of a healthcare hospitality organization. She and I are working together to welcome the individuals who live in their housing during their stay in my city for cancer treatment into the St. Peregrine group.

I will continue to be involved in the cancer community. It means so much to me!

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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