Finding Strength and Community Through Friendship During Cancer

Patti McGee is an author, a massage therapist and breast cancer survivor of 20 years. Catch up on all of Patti's blogs here!

Cancer has a way of rearranging your life in ways you never expected. It’s scary, uncertain, and deeply personal. Yet, in the middle of it all, I discovered something beautiful: the power of community and the unbreakable bonds that can form when we come together.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my thirties, my world felt like it had been turned upside down. My son was just 9 years old, and I worried constantly about being strong enough for him. During those early days of treatment, I met Sandy, a fellow thirty-two-year-old mom, newly diagnosed, with two young children of her own, aged 5 and 2. Our paths crossed at a Relay for Life sponsored by our Oncology Office, and we instantly connected. We leaned on each other through the chaos of appointments, treatments, and the emotional rollercoaster that comes with a cancer diagnosis.

A year after our diagnoses, we both went in for our check-ups. My heart broke when I learned Sandy’s cancer had returned and metastasized. Over the next seven years, our community of friends, fellow survivors, neighbors, and even strangers rallied around Sandy and her family. We became more than just friends; we became each other’s lifelines.

One story that will forever stay with me is the pajama party sleepover we organized for Sandy. There were about eight of us breast cancer survivors and caregivers, who had become sisters through shared hardship, who decided to rent a hotel room and create a special night for Sandy and her family. We knew her time was limited, and we wanted to give her a moment of pure joy and togetherness.

We ordered pizzas from the hotel kitchen, and when the staff learned why we were there, they donated all the food and treated us with so much kindness. The hotel truly opened its heart to us, making us feel welcomed and cared for. Sandy’s husband and her children joined us for dinner, making it a family affair. The kids swam, laughed, and played, their faces lighting up with happiness.

And then, something magical happened. One of our friends, who knew Jim and Julie Boeheim (with Jim being the Syracuse Orangemen College Basketball Coach at that time and Julie active in the community), arranged a surprise. Julie Boeheim arrived with gifts from the basketball team for Sandy’s children. The joy on those little faces was indescribable; it was a moment of pure magic that none of us will ever forget.

That night was more than just a party; it was a celebration of life, friendship, and the strength we find in each other. Even as we faced the reality of Sandy’s terminal diagnosis, we created a memory that brought comfort, laughter, and love. Our group of women became family, bound by the experiences we shared and the support we gave one another.

To this day, we are all still friends. We continue to support each other, whether it’s through cancer events like Relay For Life, support groups, or simply checking in on one another. The bond we formed during those challenging years is something I cherish deeply.

Cancer can feel isolating, but when people come together, whether they are family, friends, or even strangers, something extraordinary happens. The burden feels lighter. The days seem a little brighter. And the journey, while never easy, becomes one filled with hope and love.

If you’re facing cancer, or supporting someone who is, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out, lean on your community, and let others show up for you. Because when we come together, we create moments of joy and connection that cancer can never take away.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective as a breast cancer survivor. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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