Soul Sisters

Article

Facebook links my soul sister and me together. Sometimes, it's good news, but sometimes it's bad.

Bipolar disorder and cancer — not a nice mix. Those are the two illnesses a friend of mine had. Her name was May. She lived in the neighborhood for as long as I could remember, but about five years ago, she moved away.

When I met her, I had bipolar illness, but I hadn't been diagnosed with cancer yet. I used to think, "Bipolar and cancer…what bum luck." I never dreamed that in a few years I'd be in the same situation, her situation, with both bipolar illness and breast cancer.

Never say never.

We're still Facebook friends. She just posted that the mass on her pancreas is growing. She'd been cancer-free for a time, and now it might be back.

When we were together people thought we were sisters; one person said we had the same look in our eyes. We'd seen many of the same things, a lot of pain, suffering and much intense joy.

In many ways, May is my soul sister.

I offer her my prayers and my condolences over the internet, but that hardly seems like enough. If I could, I'd go visit her, but there's no way I could do that. My teaching job is starting up again soon. I have a teenager to take care of. I have my life to take care of.

May's predicament makes me feel so fragile; if cancer can metastasize in her, it can in me. I will never say never again.

May and I used to belong to a group of girls who would go to dinner at a Thai restaurant. We'd eat Thai noodles and talk and laugh. This was during her cancer remission and before I had cancer. We were carefree then.

May now has four beautiful grandchildren — three boys and a girl. She is the perfect grandmother, I'm sure, buying them outfits and dressing them up for group pictures in little hats and scarves. She posts the pictures on Facebook.

Without Facebook, I would have probably not known of May's current cancer predicament. I don't see the girls much anymore. Since May moved away, we don't do dinner like we used to. Word of mouth would have been the only way to learn of the growing mass on May's pancreas.

I'm glad we have this thing called Facebook. It keeps soul sisters (and brothers) together. But it also spreads sadness and bad news. It's a mixed bag.

Well, if I can't go visit her, the next best thing is to call her on the telephone. I don't have her new phone number, but I can Facebook message her and get it.

I need to talk to May. We've shared so much in common, I feel that I might be able to do some good. At least, she'd know that there's still a caring old friend out there who thinks of her often and who wishes her well.

I'm off to find May's current phone number and call her. I've got to express my love and prayers for her, tell her that she can beat this like she beat everything else. Never say never.

May is and always will be my soul sister. We're joined through mutual life experiences of illness and, hopefully, recovery.

Related Videos
For patients with cancer, the ongoing chemotherapy shortage may cause some anxiety as they wonder how they will receive their drugs. However, measuring drugs “down to the minutiae of the milligrams” helped patients receive the drugs they needed, said Alison Tray. Tray is an advanced oncology certified nurse practitioner and current vice president of ambulatory operations at Rutgers Cancer Institute in New Jersey.  If patients are concerned about getting their cancer drugs, Tray noted that having “an open conversation” between patients and providers is key.  “As a provider and a nurse myself, having that conversation, that reassurance and sharing the information is a two-way conversation,” she said. “So just knowing that we're taking care of you, we're going to make sure that you receive the care that you need is the key takeaway.” In June 2023, many patients were unable to receive certain chemotherapy drugs, such as carboplatin and cisplatin because of an ongoing shortage. By October 2023, experts saw an improvement, although the “ongoing crisis” remained.  READ MORE: Patients With Lung Cancer Face Unmet Needs During Drug Shortages “We’re really proud of the work that we could do and achieve that through a critical drug shortage,” Tray said. “None of our patients missed a dose of chemotherapy and we were able to provide that for them.” Tray sat down with CURE® during the 49th Annual Oncology Nursing Society Annual Congress to discuss the ongoing chemo shortage and how patients and care teams approached these challenges. Transcript: Particularly at Hartford HealthCare, when we established this infrastructure, our goal was to make sure that every patient would get the treatment that they need and require, utilizing the data that we have from ASCO guidelines to ensure that we're getting the optimal high-quality standard of care in a timely fashion that we didn't have to delay therapies. So, we were able to do that by going down to the minutiae of the milligrams on hand, particularly when we had a lot of critical drug shortages. So it was really creating that process to really ensure that every patient would get the treatment that they needed. For more news on cancer updates, research and education, don’t forget to subscribe to CURE®’s newsletters here.
Yuliya P.L Linhares, MD, an expert on CLL
Yuliya P.L Linhares, MD, and Josie Montegaard, MSN, AGPCNP-BC, experts on CLL
Image of a man with a beard.
Image of a man with gray facial hair and a navy blue suit with a light orange tie.
Image of a woman with black hair.
Related Content