Psychosocial

I don't know why my fear is bigger right now than the reality that I was a rock-star-warrior during the biggest, deepest, most tortuous experience of my life: cancer.

Since being diagnosed with cancer, I can't walk into a grocery story without hearing B.B. King sing "The Thrill is Gone." My relationship with food changed, and I often wonder if we'll ever be able to fall in love again.

The cancer journey can take you on a jagged road with too many twists and turns. It doesn't always have to be an emotional rollercoaster if you know how to walk it.

For those of us living in the wake of a big diagnosis, how we define life, living and every day can be clouded by fear and misguided ideas of what it means to truly live. What I’ve learned is that life is not about what we are doing, but why and how we do what we have to for however long we get to be alive.

It’s hard to let go of fear when that’s all you feel. It’s called rumination. The trick is finding ways to stop ruminating about the fear to be able to live fully until whatever is going to happen, happens.

As a breast cancer survivor, I have become more active in my efforts to call attention to problems with secondhand smoke in my community. Since I know that exposure is not healthy, lobbying for changes in attitudes, as well as policies, makes me feel more empowered.