Living With Purpose After a Metastatic Diagnosis

My journey started in January 2021 when I noticed a blackout area of vision in my left eye at the 4:00 to 6:00 area. My stepfather is a retired ophthalmologist, so I immediately called him. He agreed that I needed to be seen by a specialist right away. Fast forward to a referral to Froedtert & Medical College of Wisconsin Eye Institute.

My tumor was very small to biopsy and in an area too dangerous for surgery. I received brachytherapy, and my eye is very stable to date; however, my vision has really deteriorated over the past year. I was scheduled for 3-month scans to monitor my lungs and liver for metastasis. At that part of my journey, I never truly thought about the possibility of metastasis. My medical team was monitoring it, but I really believed that it wouldn’t happen to me. I regret my way of thinking as I would have made massive life changes three years ago.

In February 2024, I found out that I have four small tumors in my liver. A crushing blow. I recall looking at my doctor blankly and hearing her but not registering who she was talking to. I looked at my husband and around the room. No way did I have stage 4 cancer!

A few days after my diagnosis, we had a trip with friends planned. We did not cancel that trip, and it was a blessing in disguise. Our friends kept the trip normal. I was a wreck, but they made me eat and made me move. That ended up being one of the most special trips I’ve ever made. They provided everything we needed at that time. I came home knowing that I was going to continue to live with purpose.

Another dear friend gave me a feel-good care package containing a snugly blanket, healthy snacks and a special book called Crazy Sexy Diet by Kris Carr that changed our lives. That’s when my true strength came to the surface, and I took control of the things I could — my mental and physical health.

Overnight, I stopped consuming alcohol, sugar, meat, processed foods and drinks. I enlisted the guidance of an integrative cancer center and had extensive blood drawings and tests that led to a personalized supplement program. I joined a cancer support exercise program at the YMCA called LiveStrong and, after that, StayStrong. I scoured books and online articles about survivors. I read and continue to read about my cancer type and the advances in science. I have become an advocate for myself and others.

I encourage others to take control of themselves. It was the only thing I felt that I could manage, and because I’m such a Type-A personality, I did tenfold! A strong mind and body have made a world of difference. Even the smallest step is incredibly powerful and rewarding. You will start to crave the next win!

Nobody really knows the course of our journey. The story isn’t written for you. Focus on survivor stories. I encourage online support groups, but know when to take a break if you start seeing too many obituaries or negativity. I make sure that I don’t live online and remember that balance is important. Our brains are powerful, and we want to feed it strong and energizing information.

I truly value the many relationships I’m creating through support groups and online organizations that focus on melanoma and rare cancers. I highly encourage getting involved as much as you can in as many ways. Sometimes another cancer patient may just need a friend to check in with on a regular basis. I have met so many people across the country, and I feel so grateful that my diagnosis of cancer has opened this new world full of incredible people!

We are in this together! Science is moving forward, and extremely smart people are finding ways every day to extend and save our lives!

I’m here with you and for you!

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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