Melanoma and Miracle Bolo

Thanks mostly to COVID-19, I’ve logged more than 18,000 minutes of “Grey’s Anatomy” in the past five years. Which makes me — if not a doctor — at least an expert in drama and brain surgery.

So, when my neurosurgeon walked in, giving major Derek Shepherd vibes (the show’s original “McDreamy”), I actually felt a little better. He was smart, kind and calm. In a moment when everything in my world felt upside down, familiar was comforting.

Only weeks earlier, I thought I’d caught something early — a small lump under my right arm. Now I was being wheeled into emergency brain surgery for stage 4 melanoma.

If you’re a “Grey’s Anatomy” fan, you know that in the show, McDreamy often performed awake brain surgeries. I can’t say for sure whether I was awake during mine, but I do know I was talking in the operating room.

Because my McDreamy and his team were talking about Puerto Rico, and I’ve been to Puerto Rico.

“The greatest vegan restaurant in the world is in Puerto Rico,” I told them. “I found it by accident.”

McDreamy laughed and said, “I’d happily go to a vegan restaurant in Puerto Rico. I was vegan for years.”

And then … I woke up.

They don’t let you eat before brain surgery. By the time I came to, I was starving. All I wanted was a bucket of pellet ice and ginger ale. The recovery nurse gave me five ice pellets and the tiniest sip imaginable.

When McDreamy walked back in, I asked if I could have more to eat and drink. He said the nurse was in charge. I complained about the unfairness of it all, so he asked if I wanted to make a video to show everyone how good I looked after brain surgery.

Naturally, I made a commercial for my boyfriend’s restaurant.

“Dinner tonight is provided by chef-owner Todd Winer of Pastoral on Congress Street and his partner-patient, Amanda Goodwin. Please enjoy,” I announced, trying to sound glamorous while covered in wires and staples.

From the moment we knew surgery was happening, I became mildly obsessed with Todd making dinner for everyone — not just my family, but for the doctors, nurses, patients and orderlies on the Neuro ICU floor that night.

And Todd, bless him, made it happen.

I don’t remember eating, but I remember looking around the room — my son, my ex-husband and his siblings, Todd and his family — and thinking: how lucky am I?

Around two in the morning, I called the nurse and asked if she could make me a plate of the bolo. “That’s the pasta with the meat sauce,” I explained. “It’s miracle bolo. It’ll make everything better.”

She didn’t argue.

And while I know I owe my life to the brilliance of my McDreamy and the team of doctors, nurses, and caregivers who continue to guide me through life as a patient with stage 4 cancer, I’ll never be convinced that Todd’s miracle bolo didn’t play a part in saving me, too.

Amanda Goodwin is a writer, mother, and stage 4 melanoma survivor living in Massachusetts. She shares stories of grit, humor and healing on Cancer Sharks, her storytelling project built to help others find light — and laughter — through cancer.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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