Motherhood Fueled My Determination Through Cancer

I was 46 years old the summer I discovered I had cancer; my children were 11 and 8. I was determined to live because my kids still needed their mama.

For the past two years, I had been participating in a calorie-counting weight-loss study through my state university. Beginning sometime in January, I started experiencing constipation that would last a week or two at a time before I could pass stool regularly again. The weight-loss study team encouraged me to drink more water. I followed their advice closely. I also began eating prunes and doing the abdominal massage that many people do on babies to help stimulate bowel movements.

During one of those massages (done while lying down, starting on the lower right, firmly stroking up to the waist, across to the left, and then down to the lower left, repeating the process), I felt a pronounced lump on my right side, approximately where an ovary might be. I could not find a similar lump on the left side. That discrepancy stayed with me. I remember thinking, Hmmm.

It took me months to go to the doctor. In May, I finally went to Urgent Care because of the constipation. The physician took an X-ray, could not see anything concerning, and sent me home. A couple of days later, I was able to have a bowel movement, so I assumed things had returned to normal.
Then my period stopped. It had been light for several years, and I had been looking forward to menopause. June came and went without any menstrual flow at all. In early July, I noticed a few spots.

Then, in early August, just before I left for an eight-day camping trip in the wilderness of northern Minnesota, my period started in earnest with a heavy flow. After two days, it stopped again.

Camping gave me time to think. Instead of spending all my energy managing work, family responsibilities, and household demands, I had quiet moments to reflect. During that time, I realized I needed to see my regular doctor.

At my appointment, I explained everything that had been happening. Initially, she seemed confident that I had fibroid tumors. That confidence shifted after she examined me. First, she sent me for an X-ray. Then she said she wanted me to have a CT scan. After reviewing the results, she asked if my husband and I could come back to talk with her after the clinic closed.

That appointment was on a Thursday. The following Tuesday, we celebrated our son’s ninth birthday by tubing down a river with him and his friends. Two days later, on Thursday, I had my first surgery: a complete hysterectomy. At the time, I believed the lump I had felt was ovarian or uterine cancer. That assumption was only partly correct. I was diagnosed with cancer of the appendix that had spread to my right ovary and uterus.

A second surgery followed approximately four weeks later. That procedure included surgical chemotherapy and was followed by six months of oral chemotherapy.

During this period, I maintained a CaringBridge account and documented what my family and I were experiencing. Eleven years later, when I had a recurrence, I reread what I had written. I was surprised by how upbeat I had remained throughout the process.

Through all of this, I learned that a positive mindset makes a difference. Letting the people around you know what you are going through helps you, and it helps them help you. My family and our circles of friends supported us immensely. I could not have done it alone.

This year marks the nineteenth anniversary since my cancer was first identified. I went through a second round of treatment (surgical, oral, and intravenous chemotherapy) during my first recurrence. Cancer was detected again during my annual blood tests three years ago, and we have been watchfully waiting since then.

The pandemic happened during this period, and like so many others, my household spent months in isolation until a vaccine became available. We are all fully vaccinated, yet I still contracted COVID-19 in 2024 and again in 2025.

Now, having had both the vaccines and the virus, there may be a reduction in the amount of cancer that can be detected in my abdomen. I have read that both vaccination and infection can nudge the immune system toward a stronger response against certain cancers, possibly mine.

Fingers crossed.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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