Navigating the Holidays When Cancer Never Quite Leaves

Living with chronic cancer means navigating the holidays with extra caution — but also with deeper gratitude for every moment I’m able to show up. Every year when the holidays roll around, I feel deeply grateful for another year. That’s the blessing in disguise — for me and cancer. It’s always there. I live with it.

Hearing the words, “I’m afraid it’s cancer, but at least it’s indolent,” changed me. There are so many different kinds of cancer. If you’re lucky enough to have one you can live alongside — or better yet, one that can be cured — then, in my humble opinion, there is so much to be grateful for.

When we’re able, my husband and I like to go away for the holidays, which means preparation — lots of it. A few weeks before we leave, I become extra cautious, always afraid of getting sick before the trip.

Next week, for example, there’s a holiday concert I would love to attend. My whole family will be there. This musical group hasn’t come to my community in years, and I was thrilled when I heard they were coming. But then reality set in. We’re supposed to leave the next morning. They are expecting over 1,800 people to be in attendance. I know what decision cancer forces me to make. There’s no way I can take a chance being in an indoor space with that many people. Add to that the number of kids who went home sick from my grandchildren’s school last week — there’s just too much going around right now.

I can’t go. It’s as simple as that.

Flying is another concern because of my very compromised immune system. I will, of course, wear a mask — even though hardly anyone ever does anymore. I’ll likely keep it on the entire flight, skipping food and drinks. I’ll sit by the window, with my husband stuck in the middle, helping create some distance between me and the stranger in the aisle seat. Then I’ll hope and pray I didn’t pick up anything on the plane that could ruin our holiday once we arrive.

Travel is stressful. Many times, I’ve ended up in an urgent care facility just days after arriving. My doctor has been very honest with me about the risks. Still, I’d rather try to navigate it all than accept that travel is off-limits. I’m not ready for that yet.

We live in an area with harsh winters, which means dining out is always indoors — something I have to avoid. Getting away somewhere warm, even briefly, allows me to eat outdoors and enjoy time with family or friends. That alone feels like such a gift.

The bottom line is this: I navigate what I can because I still want to live my life. I’m grateful for every day, and being with family and friends is what matters most to me — especially during the holidays. But everything requires extra planning and caution. I keep masks with me at all times, just in case. Even attending a school holiday program for my grandchildren takes thought and preparation, because it’s always a risk.

Sometimes, if the risk feels too high, I ask my husband to videotape an event for me. But I try to go whenever I can. You know why? I have FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out! It’s true. I hate missing anything, especially when my grandchildren are involved. I hope that makes you smile. Maybe you can relate.

This is the season of lights, kindness, delicious snacks, gift-giving, and love. I want to experience all of it — and feel it deeply. Living with chronic cancer means learning how to balance joy with caution and gratitude with realism.

May we all make the effort to enjoy the holidays while navigating them wisely. May we be gentle with ourselves and with one another. And may your holiday be filled with hope, healing and a glow that carries us gently into the new year.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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