Advice From a Cancer Survivor: Keep Your Appointments!

As a comfort care companion volunteer for Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, Florida, I’m occasionally called to sit vigil with a dying patient who does not have family present. The day before Thanksgiving, I sat next to woman breathing heavily, sound asleep. She was on palliative care, and in the process of passing on. 

I placed my hand on her swollen hand; it felt like a water balloon. Her skin was mottled with broken blood vessels and sores. Her pretty face was absent of any muscle movement as she was in a deep morphine slumber.

I knew nothing of this woman. When I glanced at the patient status board and noticed that her emergency contact was her daughter, I saw the woman sleeping on the bed in a new light. She was once young. She had a relationship. She had sex. She was pregnant. She gave birth to a baby girl! She raised this child, and maybe more. All these things were monumental. The greater tapestry of her life was unknown to me, but just knowing she had a daughter made me connect with the gentle soul who was about to pass away. I was moved.

I could have been the one in the hospital bed taking my last breaths. I experienced acute myeloid leukemia twice. The second time I had a bone marrow transplant. Today I am well.

With that being said, had it not been for follow up appointments I would not be here. I could easily have been someone with a pillow appendage – so heavily sunk into the mattress that the fibers merged with my skin. I could have had my eyes closed, seeing visions of my past life, hearing the whispers of my visitors, and smiling at the foggy souls waiting to greet me on the other side.

After being treated for the first diagnosis, I moved from Chicago to Tampa. I setup an appointment with an oncologist at Moffitt Cancer Center. Every three months I met with Dr. Salman to make sure that the treatment I received at Northwestern Hospital worked. Then I dutifully went every six months. I received many smiles from my oncologist after he reviewed my blood work. I was thriving.

Life went on. But three years after my move to Tampa, I went into a depression and found myself drinking again for about seven months after 25 years of sobriety. I eagerly went to rehab. I struggled a great deal during detox but eventually got my spirit back. I went to a sober living home after the three-month in-patient program. I got a cold and couldn’t kick it.

I was due for a cancer check-up appointment at Moffitt. Whatever. It was a hassle traveling to the center, waiting in line for the valet, waiting for the blood draw and waiting for the doctor to give me the results — all to find out I’m fine.

However, had I not gone in, I would not have known that my AML was back with a vengeance. I would have just ignored future appointments and gone on with my sober-again life. I imagine that it would have only been a few months later when puzzling and uncomfortable symptoms would have kicked in. Maybe the symptoms would have been minor for a long time, while the cancer grew. Maybe it would have been too late.

This year I passed my five-year post-transplant mark. I am a Catholic woman with Jewish blood from a beautiful young Israeli donor. I wake up and go outside where I am bathed in bird songs. I love the outdoors: the freedom, the air, the scenery, the mysteries.

My chances of living a “normal lifespan” are very good. No matter, I will continue to get periodic checkups. My cancer journey No. 1 and 2 are over! But, who’s to say it won’t come back? Or perhaps another illness might emerge. The least I can do is keep my appointments and take care of myself. While everyone is susceptible to sorry, we are also all deserving of joy.

My sweet patient who is passing away may have kept her appointments. Cancer is cruel, and sometimes treatment options are exhausted. I wish her comfort and peace as she transitions. In memory of her and for all other patients who passed away from cancer, I will donate to the cancer researchers and treatment innovators. And I will keep my appointments.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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