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Dealing With the Uncertainty of Cancer

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Since my diagnosis with multiple myeloma, I try to keep inspired to keep moving forward despite the challenges.

Illustration of Ronald Chin

All of us face uncertainty in our lives — whether it concerns the economy, climate change, relationships, health or anything else. How did you deal with 9/11, the current Canadian wildfires affecting our air quality or your cancer diagnosis?

As I sit at the dinner table, my mind is filled with uncertainty about the food on my plate. Despite our efforts to only consume organic vegetables, fruits and wild-caught seafood, there is still doubt lingering in the back of my mind. The labels proclaiming "free-range" or "hormone-free" hold little assurance, as they do not guarantee that the farmer followed all guidelines for organic certification. Even a simple trip to the grocery store becomes a tedious task, as we meticulously scan ingredient labels, searching for excessive amounts of salt, sugar or preservatives. It seems that the only way to truly ensure our food is up to our standards is by cooking it ourselves. However, this comes with its own set of challenges — hours spent prepping, chopping, cleaning and constantly washing dishes. But ultimately, we find comfort in knowing exactly what goes into our meals and how it was prepared. Food is our medicine.

My mind is consumed with uncertainty for the future of our world — constant comments about climate change and political turmoil weigh heavy on my emotions. In an attempt to escape, I often find myself scrolling through Facebook, seeking solace in its endless stream of content. Thankfully, my feed is typically filled with uplifting photos of Mother Nature's beauty, exotic destinations across the globe, mouthwatering dishes and heartwarming images of loved ones. I make a conscious effort to only engage with positive and inspirational posts, such as vintage snapshots of New York City or portraits of influential historical figures. These glimpses into the past remind me that there is still goodness in this world and inspire me to keep moving forward despite the challenges we face.

As I navigate through the bustling city streets, the scent of fresh coffee and corner pizza stands wafts through the air. Every block seems to be under construction, cranes towering overhead and jackhammers echoing in the distance.

Though I am able-bodied and can walk without any assistance in five years, I make a conscious decision to use my rollator as I maneuver around potholes and debris scattered along the sidewalks. The constant chatter of pedestrians on their cellphones makes it even more challenging to navigate through the crowds.

Amidst all this chaos, one must also be vigilant for wayward bikes speeding by, busy traffic intersections and the occasional person walking down the sidewalks. It takes skill and focus to safely make it through these urban obstacles, but I am determined to do so with agility and caution.

Every week, I make it a priority to practice Qigong, an ancient Chinese form of movement and meditation. With every graceful, deliberate movement, my body is reminded of its strength and flexibility. My mind follows suit, shedding the stress and clutter of daily life. Like a rejuvenating dance, Qigong allows both my body and mind to flow in perfect harmony, revitalizing me from within.

The most vital tool in my arsenal is my unwavering positivity, which I share with my devoted morning group, lovingly named the Bells of Hope. Together, we face each day's challenges and discuss our shared worries, creating a strong community bonded by a desire to conquer uncertainty. As our sessions come to a close, I guide us through a soothing seven- to 10-minute meditation that washes away any lingering tension and brings peace to our bodies and minds. It is a powerful ritual that sets the tone for the rest of the day and strengthens our collective resilience.

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