Do It Now: Thriving Through the Cancer Journey

When I was diagnosed with peritoneal mesothelioma at 21, my whole world
changed in an instant. Just five months after giving birth to my son, I was hit with an 18-month prognosis. Like so many people facing cancer, I geared up into survival mode, trying to learn everything I could about this rare diagnosis.

What I was not prepared for was how much of the cancer journey would happen outside the exam room, the fear that follows you home, the questions that come after the appointment ends, the pressure of making life-changing decisions while emotionally overwhelmed. And the quiet expectation to stay strong even when you feel like you are falling apart.

Over the years, I have come to believe that the real gap often shows up after
treatment ends, but in many ways, it begins much earlier. So many patients spend the journey focused on surviving that no one teaches us how to emotionally process what we are living through while we are still in the thick of it. We are told to be strong, get through treatment and celebrate afterward. But when there has been little emotional support along the way, that "all clear" moment can still leave people feeling lost and unsure of how to move forward.

Why thriving cannot wait

Cancer has a way of making you feel like your life is on pause until treatment is over. We tell ourselves we will deal with the emotional side later. We will rest later, grieve later, speak up later and live later. But later is not promised. And even when it comes, the need for support does not disappear. Patients deserve the tools to cope, to breathe and to find moments of life right now.

What advocacy looks like

Advocacy can start with something as simple as saying, "I do not understand," or asking, "Can you explain my options again?" It can mean speaking up about side effects, asking for clearer answers or saying you need more time before making a huge decision. This does not make you a difficult patient, it means you are engaged in your care. When patients feel informed and involved, they are better able to make decisions, manage treatment and speak up for what they need.

But speaking up is not always easy, especially in survival mode. Many of us were raised to trust doctors without question. Others are simply exhausted. That is why advocacy should never fall only on the patient. Families, care teams, navigators and support organizations all play a role in helping patients feel safe enough to use their voice.

Whole-person care matters

I have been in this advocacy space for nearly 20 years, and although healthcare has evolved tremendously since 2007, cancer care is still too often centered on the physical. Physical treatment matters, lab results, surgery, medication, scans all matter. But patients are also carrying fear, grief, financial stress, shifting family roles and the loss of the life they once knew. When those parts go unaddressed, patients can feel deeply alone even while receiving great medical care.

Emotional support should not be something patients search for only after reaching a breaking point. It should be woven into cancer care from the beginning. Because emotional care is not optional. It is part of care.

Living in the right now

One of the biggest shifts for me was realizing I did not have to wait until everything was over to start living again. Every question I asked, every boundary I set and every choice I made to care for my emotional well-being reminded me that I was still part of my own life. Yes, treatment was happening. But so was living. I learned that both could exist at the same time.

If I could say one thing to someone newly diagnosed, it would be this: Do not wait for permission to ask for what you need. Say when you do not understand. Tell someone if your mental health is suffering. Find support early instead of waiting until you are overwhelmed. Your voice matters because your lived experience matters and good care should always make room for both.

After 19 years of cancer survivorship, I do not define my cancer journey only by what I endured. I define it also by what it taught me: that advocacy is not just for outspoken people, that emotional support should begin on day one and that healing is both physical and emotional. Thriving through cancer does not begin someday in the future. It begins the moment you realize your voice matters.

This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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