What Cancer Survivorship Means to Me Now, Eight Years Later

Prior to my cancer diagnosis, I couldn't imagine what "survivorship" would look like for me now or how I would frame the lessons learned from it.

When I was diagnosed with cancer, I couldn't fathom why there was all this talk about the support needed during survivorship. It didn't seem to make any sense to me. Of course people need support immediately after diagnosis and during treatment. But after that, isn't the "hard" part over? That's what everyone seemed to think, and so I thought that too.

I certainly did need support after diagnosis and during treatment, as does anyone who faces a cancer diagnosis. I learned that cancer is powerfully disruptive: to my present, to my ability to plan, to my future, to my vision of my life and what it would be like.

What I eventually came to understand was that support is needed during ALL phases of cancer, including after the "hard" part (treatment) is over, and well into survivorship. This phase brings with it a whole new set of challenges — ones that were difficult for me to see in that moment. In fact, I remember being somewhat insulted at the idea that there could be a time in the entire cancer journey that might be HARDER than treatment. Why on earth would surviving cancer be harder than the initial part?

As is true for most cancer survivors, I learned. And what I learned were lessons that are still etched in my psyche.

I learned that the day treatment is complete is a time for celebration and joy — followed by sheer terror. The realization that the "safety net" of frequent appointments and close monitoring would be pulled away. The understanding that cancer-related post-traumatic stress disorder is real, and that my reactions to very mundane things had shifted significantly. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. For example, it took YEARS before I could calmly plan a vacation or a trip, as I was plagued by the "what ifs" of my mind concocting various scenarios where cancer would interrupt my carefully crafted and planned escape.

The stress and piercing anxiety of scans and the gut-wrenching wait for results were aspects of survivorship I was not at all prepared for. In fact, my own very powerful reaction to this actually influenced my surgical treatment decisions so that I wouldn't need to have future screening imaging studies. Another very surprising facet of survivorship was how my perspective — on just about everything — had fundamentally changed. I learned to prioritize my peace and to protect it fiercely. Sometimes this meant letting go of the drama that had always irritated me (usually with regard to dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships with family members, friends or work).

I also learned that helping others who now find themselves in a similar situation can be incredibly gratifying. I now run a support group for young breast cancer survivors, and this has turned out to be quite a privilege for me. Eight years after my own diagnosis, I am doing what I can to provide support after diagnosis and during treatment, as well as ease others' transition into survivorship.

Now, survivorship means that I have been through an experience that has forever shaped who I am, how I respond and what I think is important in life. Although I never asked for a life-altering diagnosis, after this period of time and reflection, I am grateful for the person I have ultimately become because of cancer.

For more news on cancer updates, research and education, don't forget to subscribe to CURE®'s newsletters here.