Not A Tomato on A Vine: How My Cancer Journey Made Me A Better Person

One frigid December morning, I took a seven-mile run on a busy stretch ofMain Street. I was a 20 year old who wanted his future sorted, but I had no creative energy. Several running mates told me that I had a fundamental impact on the way I lived life. I didn’t need to wait for anyone. It was up to me.

One running mate said, “You need to take care of your life, your mental health. Work on exercise, eating healthy and managing stress.” That concept of approaching my body with true caring was spot on what I needed to hear and act upon. I’ve been fortunate enough to have had many friends and do many things at an extremely high level with my love of running.

Someone once asked, “What’s your secret?” I could be disciplined but the secret is summed up in two words: faith and motivation. Faith that God was going to use me and my health would improve and motivate me to keep me pushing on my journey and not look back.

Still, to this day, I struggle sometimes, wondering, “Why me?” and “Why testicular cancer?” Was God telling me something? Maybe to slow down and let him take control. So, I try my best to let go.

After my cancer diagnosis, I felt pain and sorry for myself. For those who have lived through similar moments, you know when life can seem to be reaching a breaking point.

God is good and showed me the way. I prayed and told myself, “I’m not going to be like a tomato left too long on the vine, I am not going to shrivel up and die.” I just needed to face that things were not in my control. I can honestly say that my cancer journey made me a better person. We are shown that we can accept these trials and self-pity is OK if it doesn’t last too long and consume us. Letting God take the reins helps me when I have thoughts of doubt about my body and life.

I also followed my buddy’s advice and stayed the course with stress management by eating well and exercising. I was sure my body would eventually respond. I thought about a world where I am not in it. I couldn’t bear to see how devastated my parents would be. I had so much to do and so little time. There were many more pizza nights with friends, movies and dancing with girls I hadn’t even met yet. I told myself I could enjoy a fantastic life. I accepted these trials and in the 24 months after my diagnosis competed in three marathons that led me to train for additional mini triathlons.

I think it’s important that we all climb our own mountains. We push to the top and once at the top we realize how hard it was to get there. And so we can never forget that feeling of accomplishment, step by simple step concentrating and not wasting time thinking or doubting past decisions that don't fricking matter. If there was ever a moment in history when you should believe in yourself it is probably now. The work of the mind will never cease and the body can follow its lead.

I have learned life cannot be planned down to the minute. The moments people remember most tend to happen in-between plans. You remember moments that at the time felt like a bump in the road. Be creative to solve problems can sound like a great concept but finding time to act is the real challenge. Try to take the time this week.

Spring has a way of stirring the soul. As days extend, the excitement of summer has quietly been waiting to hatch. So, consider giving yourself a creative break. Today or tomorrow take a detour into a coffee shop that wasn’t on your daily routine but feels so right. Do something to help a friend or neighbor. Journal just four to five sentences, or sit and be quiet for five minutes.

Keep growing in this Spring season. May this month bring a balance of calmness and energy to you all. Do not be that tomato on the vine.

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This piece reflects the author’s personal experience and perspective. For medical advice, please consult your health care provider.

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