One Stitch at a Time: Crocheting and Coping with a Cancer Diagnosis

After an blood cancer diagnosis and stem cell transplant, I found purpose in crochet: © stock.adobe.com.

After earning my doctorate in Journalism and Communication from the University of Florida in 2022, I got a job at Tennessee State University as a tenure-track assistant professor of Journalism. I was living my American dream until one day, I was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia, an aggressive form of blood cancer.

To survive, I needed a stem cell transplant. In March 2024, I received the stem cell transplant and have been in remission since. Yet anxiety and fear dominated my days. I worried endlessly about my husband and three young children, especially my youngest, who was only two. I feared I might not live to see them grow up.

Sometimes, the thoughts of death would grip me, and I would cry all night. During hospital visits, while waiting to see the doctor to explain my weekly blood work, my hands shook, and my heart raced.

Then, a small, unexpected moment changed everything. One day, while walking through Walmart with my husband, I saw an aisle filled with yarn and crochet hooks. I remembered that I learned how to crotchet in high school. I immediately purchased some yarn and went home.

I didn’t know what to make at first, but I went on YouTube and started seeing many crotchet tutorials. I decided to crotchet a beanie. It turned out beautifully. A wave of creativity sparked within me. I made some ruffled hats for my children, mom and husband – they all loved them. Soon, I started making more items. I made socks, mittens, bags and sweaters. I started filming videos of my creations and posting them on Facebook and Instagram. People liked and commented on them. I was excited.

I thought to myself, “I can actually use this and raise some money for my cancer treatments.” I had good health insurance but had many co-payments. I started posting on social media, including WhatsApp, asking people to message me if they wanted beautiful sweaters.

I posted videos of my children on the outfits I made for them. Soon, I began to receive orders. My friends would send me money on Zelle, and I would rush to Joann to buy yarn and make sweaters for them.

Crocheting kept me busy. Whenever anxiety threatened to overwhelm me, I picked up my hook and yarn.

While preparing for hospital visits, I always made sure to put my yarn, hook and scissors inside my bag. I would crotchet in the waiting area until my name is called. My yarn, hook, and scissors became constant companions.

Recently, I lost my job due to my health and relocation, but I never feel lonely or idle. At home, when the kids are at school, I write on my laptop or immerse myself in crochet, often while listening to a favorite TV show. I launched a YouTube channel and Instagram page for my crochet videos, posting at least one video daily. I haven’t gone viral yet, but the likes, views, and comments make me feel alive and purposeful. Occasionally, people message me for custom orders, connecting me to a wider community.

I focus on creating colorful sweaters and hats for now, but I dream of building a large social media following, teaching crochet tutorials, and selling patterns and custom designs.

With a doctorate, I could pursue “more important” work. And yes, some days I feel lost or purposeless since cancer. I wonder if I will ever find direction beyond depending on my husband. But crochet gives me purpose right now. It keeps me engaged, excites me with colors and creativity, and fills me with hope as I watch others wear what I make.

Amid the hundreds of upcoming doctor visits, fear has less hold over me. I know that when I return home, I will pick up my hook, and life will continue — one stitch at a time.

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